I'm currently blogging from...WorK!! Haha, previously couldnt access either friendster or blogger coz the network prob blocked entry to such sites.. i would get re-directed to singhealth.. but now.. :) coz i'm using the notebook n surfing wireless using wireless@SG... was falling asleep n so decided to try opening these sites for fun..n yay, succeeded heh. Cant use desktop but at least their notebook works... but only when it wants to detect the signal for this wireless network... it totally refused to co-operate wif me this morn when i keep trying 2 connect.. n then when e perm staff used my temp table 4 a while, i saw tt it was working!It's lyk so temperamental. Biased too. Well at least now i have access n m slightly more awake..
Been ages since i last blogged. Lots happened since. Deciding on aerospace eng but actually m still pretty uncertain abt my choice.. dun really lyk how i'm feeling towards this prospective career of mine but i dun hav a choice.. in that sense of the word. N i've been alternately feeling excited n dreading entering uni.. 1/2 feeling gd tt there's 1 mth left 2 work, but it'll also mean uni entry is approaching n tt doesnt give me a gd feeling.. feeling excited coz of hostel living, but not looking forward to the assignments and examinations that comes with going back to school again...been playing the sims 2 university expansion pack so i've been comparin my future life with the life that the sims r living..hence the mixed feelings abt uni.. it looks gd, seems interesting but then i dun wan 2 get my hopes up too high..anyway, i've been hearing news abt the aerospace industry in singapore,fbeen eelin tt my future might b gd then the feeling is gone when i hear tt no matter wat, rite now, it'll b a small industry, main focus on maintenance,... esp when i'm more interested in the design component of aerospace engineering.. we'll c.. wat happens... in the future..
Later i'm meeting shuyu, mitch, hx n fel for a movie: fantastic 4:rise of the silver surfer.. hope it's gd... however hx not feeling well so she's only joining fel n i for dinner... oh well, hope that the 5 of us can still hav a gd chat despite the movie being at 740pm..PS, dhouby ghaut. Been a while since we've met up wif hx.. let's all hav a gd time together tonight:)
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Saturday, May 12, 2007
NTU B.Eng: Aerospace Engineering
NTU B.Eng (Aerospace) : Nanyang Technological University, Bachelor of Engineering (Aerospace Engineering)
Time to make a decision, went for NTU School of Mechanical and Aerospace Engineering (MAE)'s tea party at Meritus Mandarin Hotel beside cineleisure juz now in the afternoon 130pm. I was late... as usual, lol, the reception area was devoid of potential students, only all the NTU staff dere... eh, they were real nice abt me being late though they did comment tt i was late, lol. Traffic jam not my fault wat. Feel as if i didnt really learn much abt aerospace eng programme... it's lyk the suntec talk... but hmmm i did realise that Mech eng is interesting in terms of their course content, erm more lyk their programmes lyk the overseas exchange prog...but their profs werent as passionate as the head of Aerospace eng... he was real convicted and proud of this brainchild of his and he has reasons to b proud. haha i got the feeling that he was trying hard 2 not seem as though aerospace is better than mech... but i think his passion is contagious... met a student of his previously at the NTU open House who was real enthusiastic abt aerospace,... real confident in his abilities too. I think it's such ppl who manage 2 attract ppl into their courses.. no matter how attractive the course may be, w/o such ppl promoting it, it's nthg. When i was dere, realised tt the 1st batch of graduates of aerospace engineers r not out yet... tt in this way the course may not b too attractive, but the prof meguin (i think) promoting it believed in its potential n was convincing in that aspect such that i feel aerospace has a future, esp in Singapore.
But i noe, really noe, that i dun lyk all of wat aerospace eng is offering me, i was checking out their exhibits n stuff, n realised that many technical aspects and really physics stuff which is a part of aerospace isnt smthg tt i'll like. At all. But hmmm the area of aerodynamics doesnt seem too horrible. And i was really interested when they were talking abt flight simulation and how it's used 2 check stress on the materials of the parts of the aircraft... Perhaps this will be enough to get me thru this course... 4 years direct honours prog... i was thinking i'll hav 2 do very well if i wan a gd resume... but i also noe that it wouldnt b easier than in jc, where my grades (esp phy) were only average... and that i gotta work very hard, at least try very hard if i were 2 even hope 2 b satisfied wif my results... haha, i'm pretty much facing reality, i wan 2 b the best but i noe my own limits. So wat should i do? My conclusion for now is to juz accept it, as i've accepted entering nj, as i've accepted entering jc n taking up pcme... i can only accept it now as there isnt any other option anyway. Perhaps it's meant to b. Hence no point getting so frustrated trying 2 decide if i wan this. Perhaps it's not smthg to be wanted, but smthg 2 b expected, 2 b accepted w/o much deliberation, perhaps this is fate. Since this path was given 2 me, y not take it? After all my parents think tt specialising in smthg lyk this is better than i take up accountancy which is rather common... wat wif having 2 compete wif the large pool of accountants in developing countries should they come over 2 singapore... haha i'm digressing.
Sigh. It seems as though i've a choice but i guess in the end i dun really hav any. This is as if the govt has chosen a path 4 u n all u've 2 do n can do is juz 2 take it. although in this case, obviously e govt didnt choose 4 me, i chose 2 put aerospace as my 1st choice, n acct 2nd, so it's pretty much my choice. Juz tt i feel as if i cant really choose anymore. Which is true. Haiz, i cant think thru this properly..
MSN Nick: Alis volat propiis(She flies on her own wings). Gotta think this thru.
btw. got real pissed off by the stupid irksome horrible driving instructor todae. Idiot. It's not my driving's tt is bad, it's his teaching. Crap shit him. Hope he had a horrible ride. I'll show him tt i'm gd. It's juz him. Wat crap. How dare he sae not once i let go of the clutch smoothly. SHIT him. It was so smooth 1/2 e time. N how dare he try 2 slp while teaching me. Made me real angry. Mebbe tt's y i drove badly todae, of coz his interruptions n comments didnt make things better. Wat a lousy instructor. Mebbe i should've juz crashed his car. Would hav been fun. HUMPH. shant let such a loser get on my nerves n affect my mood. it's sundown, time 2 forget it all.
Time to make a decision, went for NTU School of Mechanical and Aerospace Engineering (MAE)'s tea party at Meritus Mandarin Hotel beside cineleisure juz now in the afternoon 130pm. I was late... as usual, lol, the reception area was devoid of potential students, only all the NTU staff dere... eh, they were real nice abt me being late though they did comment tt i was late, lol. Traffic jam not my fault wat. Feel as if i didnt really learn much abt aerospace eng programme... it's lyk the suntec talk... but hmmm i did realise that Mech eng is interesting in terms of their course content, erm more lyk their programmes lyk the overseas exchange prog...but their profs werent as passionate as the head of Aerospace eng... he was real convicted and proud of this brainchild of his and he has reasons to b proud. haha i got the feeling that he was trying hard 2 not seem as though aerospace is better than mech... but i think his passion is contagious... met a student of his previously at the NTU open House who was real enthusiastic abt aerospace,... real confident in his abilities too. I think it's such ppl who manage 2 attract ppl into their courses.. no matter how attractive the course may be, w/o such ppl promoting it, it's nthg. When i was dere, realised tt the 1st batch of graduates of aerospace engineers r not out yet... tt in this way the course may not b too attractive, but the prof meguin (i think) promoting it believed in its potential n was convincing in that aspect such that i feel aerospace has a future, esp in Singapore.
But i noe, really noe, that i dun lyk all of wat aerospace eng is offering me, i was checking out their exhibits n stuff, n realised that many technical aspects and really physics stuff which is a part of aerospace isnt smthg tt i'll like. At all. But hmmm the area of aerodynamics doesnt seem too horrible. And i was really interested when they were talking abt flight simulation and how it's used 2 check stress on the materials of the parts of the aircraft... Perhaps this will be enough to get me thru this course... 4 years direct honours prog... i was thinking i'll hav 2 do very well if i wan a gd resume... but i also noe that it wouldnt b easier than in jc, where my grades (esp phy) were only average... and that i gotta work very hard, at least try very hard if i were 2 even hope 2 b satisfied wif my results... haha, i'm pretty much facing reality, i wan 2 b the best but i noe my own limits. So wat should i do? My conclusion for now is to juz accept it, as i've accepted entering nj, as i've accepted entering jc n taking up pcme... i can only accept it now as there isnt any other option anyway. Perhaps it's meant to b. Hence no point getting so frustrated trying 2 decide if i wan this. Perhaps it's not smthg to be wanted, but smthg 2 b expected, 2 b accepted w/o much deliberation, perhaps this is fate. Since this path was given 2 me, y not take it? After all my parents think tt specialising in smthg lyk this is better than i take up accountancy which is rather common... wat wif having 2 compete wif the large pool of accountants in developing countries should they come over 2 singapore... haha i'm digressing.
Sigh. It seems as though i've a choice but i guess in the end i dun really hav any. This is as if the govt has chosen a path 4 u n all u've 2 do n can do is juz 2 take it. although in this case, obviously e govt didnt choose 4 me, i chose 2 put aerospace as my 1st choice, n acct 2nd, so it's pretty much my choice. Juz tt i feel as if i cant really choose anymore. Which is true. Haiz, i cant think thru this properly..
MSN Nick: Alis volat propiis(She flies on her own wings). Gotta think this thru.
btw. got real pissed off by the stupid irksome horrible driving instructor todae. Idiot. It's not my driving's tt is bad, it's his teaching. Crap shit him. Hope he had a horrible ride. I'll show him tt i'm gd. It's juz him. Wat crap. How dare he sae not once i let go of the clutch smoothly. SHIT him. It was so smooth 1/2 e time. N how dare he try 2 slp while teaching me. Made me real angry. Mebbe tt's y i drove badly todae, of coz his interruptions n comments didnt make things better. Wat a lousy instructor. Mebbe i should've juz crashed his car. Would hav been fun. HUMPH. shant let such a loser get on my nerves n affect my mood. it's sundown, time 2 forget it all.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Little surprises in life~
wed, 18 apr: Turns out that life indeed has got little surprises in store for us, just round the corner.. wed, a colleague (perm staff) was treating every1 2 donuts she bought from some shop in vivo.. n juz when i was thinking abt donuts these days too.. hahaz.. rather ok.. but i feel the bakery near my home sells better donuts.. the chocolate-flavoured ones at any rate. But hey, who would reject free donuts! ;)
thurs, 19 apr: Todae, thurs was even better... at least at the end of the day.. ended work at 6pm instead of 530pm coz i wanted 2 finish up some work b4 leaving.. and seemed 2 b leaving on the dot at 530pm the previous 2 daes.. b4 all the perm staff..so felt quite bad.. hence decided 2 stay longer todae.. Anyway, went downstairs 2 wait 4 my company home.. n after walking 1 round in the lobby/1st floor.. i decided 2 take a seat.. n seated myself at the seats area beside the security desk (Kinda flopped down.. nvm)... N was surprised when the girl seated dere said hey:)... turns out tt she's my friend.. ex-temp staff at snec, she came back 2 visit us..surprise us 2 b exact! hahaz! i saw a person sitting dere but i didnt recognise her... coz she cut her hair.. from long hair to shoulder-length... saw her on mon but ya.. still not used 2 it yet..anyway i was really shocked 2 c her dere.. then she said she brought donuts.. from Donut Factory! Apparently she queued for 2.5 hrs!! Since 12noon! then she went home n cut it into neat little pieces b4 putting it in a tupperwear n coming down 2 let us eat!! How sweet can she get?! She's juz wonderful :D And the donuts were nice!! Totally worth its reputation! hahaz, somehow i got 2 taste the donuts despite thinking tt i might not hav the chance anytime soon.. little surprises in life indeed.. hmm but us temp staffs (used 2 meet up after work b4 heading down 2 e mrt station together) no longer meet up after work 2 go home together.. so her coming here meaning 2 surprise every1.. turns out tt there's only the 2 of us down dere 2 b surprised.. but thankfully, another 2 of our friends were still working upstairs coz i called 2 check n said ok so we'll go 1st.. haha yupz, then i put down the phone n said let's go up! ;) hehe.. so we did.. n surprised them wif e donuts! there was rather a lot so there was more than enuff 2 go ard.. :)
Hmmm was told sometime ago by my sis on how a neighbour of mine.. some1 i havent seen in close to 10yrs despite him living opp me(oops.. ;]), he apparently saw my youngest sis at our void deck one day after sch n came upstairs 2 tell my dad tt she was downstairs(coz my maid forgot 2 fetch her..) despite him being on his way out.. meaning he was downstairs then he came up specially 2 tell my dad b4 gg off for wherever he was headed b4 he saw my sis downstairs.. hmmm my dad totally couldnt recognise him n thought he was some friend of mine looking 4 me or smthg Lol.. well i guess he's a friend.. an old friend whom i havent talked 2 in ages..anyway, the thing is he ran the risk of being wrong abt my sis being forgotten downstairs.. as in he assumed tt my sis wasnt supposed 2 b down dere alone.. lol, true but anyway.. hard 2 explain, juz find tt he's not bad at all.. saw him juz last sun when i went out wif my family.. apparently my dad saw him gg out wif his mum but haha, we saw each other at chinatown! Such coincidence tt we were all gg out n headed 2 e same place n actually meeting each other dere! Hahaz... totally cool 2 me.. but the thing was tt i really really couldnt recognise him at all.. he's a far cry from his kindergarten years... he used 2 b real skinny, now he's not, though he still isnt v tall ;) but ya, he only looks a bit lyk the guy i used 2 noe 10 yrs ago.. or was it 13yrs? haha.. hardly look lyk at all. Anyway am real grateful to him for tt.. kinda wish tt we're at least still friends, on talking terms, find it a pity 2 not hav such a nice person as a friend, hmmm we'll c how things go in e future.
Was thinking back 2 archery stuff a while back n rmbered once, during the sembawang (small-scale) comp, while we were shooting, there was this scene of small leaves drifting off the trees in the wind in the distance while some of my team-mates n i stood dere watching, it was a scene tt u cant really capture on camera.. partly coz we didnt hav a cam at tt time.. anyway,.. it's better in memory than on film.. at least wif an average cam.. anyway ya, that was a beautiful picture, witnessed wif wonderful friends.. ah, such simple pleasures of life.. i'll forever b grateful for.
thurs, 19 apr: Todae, thurs was even better... at least at the end of the day.. ended work at 6pm instead of 530pm coz i wanted 2 finish up some work b4 leaving.. and seemed 2 b leaving on the dot at 530pm the previous 2 daes.. b4 all the perm staff..so felt quite bad.. hence decided 2 stay longer todae.. Anyway, went downstairs 2 wait 4 my company home.. n after walking 1 round in the lobby/1st floor.. i decided 2 take a seat.. n seated myself at the seats area beside the security desk (Kinda flopped down.. nvm)... N was surprised when the girl seated dere said hey:)... turns out tt she's my friend.. ex-temp staff at snec, she came back 2 visit us..surprise us 2 b exact! hahaz! i saw a person sitting dere but i didnt recognise her... coz she cut her hair.. from long hair to shoulder-length... saw her on mon but ya.. still not used 2 it yet..anyway i was really shocked 2 c her dere.. then she said she brought donuts.. from Donut Factory! Apparently she queued for 2.5 hrs!! Since 12noon! then she went home n cut it into neat little pieces b4 putting it in a tupperwear n coming down 2 let us eat!! How sweet can she get?! She's juz wonderful :D And the donuts were nice!! Totally worth its reputation! hahaz, somehow i got 2 taste the donuts despite thinking tt i might not hav the chance anytime soon.. little surprises in life indeed.. hmm but us temp staffs (used 2 meet up after work b4 heading down 2 e mrt station together) no longer meet up after work 2 go home together.. so her coming here meaning 2 surprise every1.. turns out tt there's only the 2 of us down dere 2 b surprised.. but thankfully, another 2 of our friends were still working upstairs coz i called 2 check n said ok so we'll go 1st.. haha yupz, then i put down the phone n said let's go up! ;) hehe.. so we did.. n surprised them wif e donuts! there was rather a lot so there was more than enuff 2 go ard.. :)
Hmmm was told sometime ago by my sis on how a neighbour of mine.. some1 i havent seen in close to 10yrs despite him living opp me(oops.. ;]), he apparently saw my youngest sis at our void deck one day after sch n came upstairs 2 tell my dad tt she was downstairs(coz my maid forgot 2 fetch her..) despite him being on his way out.. meaning he was downstairs then he came up specially 2 tell my dad b4 gg off for wherever he was headed b4 he saw my sis downstairs.. hmmm my dad totally couldnt recognise him n thought he was some friend of mine looking 4 me or smthg Lol.. well i guess he's a friend.. an old friend whom i havent talked 2 in ages..anyway, the thing is he ran the risk of being wrong abt my sis being forgotten downstairs.. as in he assumed tt my sis wasnt supposed 2 b down dere alone.. lol, true but anyway.. hard 2 explain, juz find tt he's not bad at all.. saw him juz last sun when i went out wif my family.. apparently my dad saw him gg out wif his mum but haha, we saw each other at chinatown! Such coincidence tt we were all gg out n headed 2 e same place n actually meeting each other dere! Hahaz... totally cool 2 me.. but the thing was tt i really really couldnt recognise him at all.. he's a far cry from his kindergarten years... he used 2 b real skinny, now he's not, though he still isnt v tall ;) but ya, he only looks a bit lyk the guy i used 2 noe 10 yrs ago.. or was it 13yrs? haha.. hardly look lyk at all. Anyway am real grateful to him for tt.. kinda wish tt we're at least still friends, on talking terms, find it a pity 2 not hav such a nice person as a friend, hmmm we'll c how things go in e future.
Was thinking back 2 archery stuff a while back n rmbered once, during the sembawang (small-scale) comp, while we were shooting, there was this scene of small leaves drifting off the trees in the wind in the distance while some of my team-mates n i stood dere watching, it was a scene tt u cant really capture on camera.. partly coz we didnt hav a cam at tt time.. anyway,.. it's better in memory than on film.. at least wif an average cam.. anyway ya, that was a beautiful picture, witnessed wif wonderful friends.. ah, such simple pleasures of life.. i'll forever b grateful for.
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Tuesday, April 17, 2007
wat's wrong wif me todae...
haiz suddenly feeling v down. lyk wat's wrong wif me todae? perhaps coz of todae's events.. everything finally sinking in or smthg... the full impact of wat i did. hmmm todae wore blue top plus white skirt. n during lunch it got dirtied!! by sweet n sour sauce. i didnt lyk e sauce 2 begin wif but i guess it's juz fate tt i decided 2 let e auntie put it into my fd todae... n it got spilt on my clothes!Damn. Hurriedly ate finish n immediately headed 2 e toilet 2 clean up as much as i could. Thankfully by e time i'm done, e stain wasnt easily visible..i'm so gonna b more careful wif fd if i'm gonna wear light-coloured clothes again.. was alr being extra cautious todae... mebbe coz too cautious.. n made it worse. HAIZ. dunno dun wanna care.
Then coz i was acting stupid n got teased abt a so-called eye candy whom i only saw once... a glimpse... puh-leeze. My fault for acting lyk a pure bimbo n a brainless fool. Then tried 2 sa jiao 2 my relative 2 get him 2 buy donuts 4 me... lol, i am an idiot. Didnt get my way n got talked 2 in a condescending tone. Dont PatroNise Me!! Urgh. Hateful. Talking abt me who's hateful. Lyk wat's wrong wif me todae. Idiot, fool, twit, bimbo, pig, Argh.
Yesterdae went 2 e temp chinatown market (hawker centre) 2 hav dinner coz of a colleague's bdae... fd was ok. Then we went esplanade mall for chocolate drink... as in the whole place specialise in chocolate drinks... interesting concept, drink was ok, juz tasted lyk normal hot chocolate. Shall try something more special dere next time. But gg esplanade made me feel nostalgic? Dunno, hateful feeling. Lyk y am i forcing myself 2 rmber memories which will only make me sad now.. juz coz i feel it's expected of myself 2 feel down, 2 rmber stuff lyk all those drama serial ppl??! I'm crazed. I am a twit. Idiot. Crap. I'm stupid. I'm stronger than this. I know I am and I'm not a fool 2 begin wif, why start now? I think i shall go study 2 occupy my mind or smthg. Honestly, muz b coz i got nthg 2 keep my mind busy wif. Wish i could turn time back... these few daes keep wishing i could press Ctl+Z... Undo... but realised tt this is reality, i cant change wat i juz did, i cant undo wat i juz did... n i'll juz hav 2 do everything e hard way. There's only one chance in all that we do, now i really feel it. Really. Ah regrets.
Anyway, i was thinking, y am i even forcing myself 2 hav an eye candy in e first place? this stinks.. juz coz friends ask if dere's any shuai guyz ard i muz go purposely find? Am i stupid or wat. Dun care, i dun wan any eye candies in e first place n i sure dun wan any now. Haiz. juz let me turn back time 2 JC or sec sch.. anything but this horrible period of time i'm experiencing.
Ok, Enough, time 2 b more optimistic n forget all tt juz happened. Let time cause all these 2 fade.. fade away to nothingness.... it'll b for e best.
Recent msn nick: appearances r deceiving, ppl r not wat they appear 2 b, 2 dream a fairytale romance, 2 dream a fairytale, cease dont juz dont, dont patronise me!
Then coz i was acting stupid n got teased abt a so-called eye candy whom i only saw once... a glimpse... puh-leeze. My fault for acting lyk a pure bimbo n a brainless fool. Then tried 2 sa jiao 2 my relative 2 get him 2 buy donuts 4 me... lol, i am an idiot. Didnt get my way n got talked 2 in a condescending tone. Dont PatroNise Me!! Urgh. Hateful. Talking abt me who's hateful. Lyk wat's wrong wif me todae. Idiot, fool, twit, bimbo, pig, Argh.
Yesterdae went 2 e temp chinatown market (hawker centre) 2 hav dinner coz of a colleague's bdae... fd was ok. Then we went esplanade mall for chocolate drink... as in the whole place specialise in chocolate drinks... interesting concept, drink was ok, juz tasted lyk normal hot chocolate. Shall try something more special dere next time. But gg esplanade made me feel nostalgic? Dunno, hateful feeling. Lyk y am i forcing myself 2 rmber memories which will only make me sad now.. juz coz i feel it's expected of myself 2 feel down, 2 rmber stuff lyk all those drama serial ppl??! I'm crazed. I am a twit. Idiot. Crap. I'm stupid. I'm stronger than this. I know I am and I'm not a fool 2 begin wif, why start now? I think i shall go study 2 occupy my mind or smthg. Honestly, muz b coz i got nthg 2 keep my mind busy wif. Wish i could turn time back... these few daes keep wishing i could press Ctl+Z... Undo... but realised tt this is reality, i cant change wat i juz did, i cant undo wat i juz did... n i'll juz hav 2 do everything e hard way. There's only one chance in all that we do, now i really feel it. Really. Ah regrets.
Anyway, i was thinking, y am i even forcing myself 2 hav an eye candy in e first place? this stinks.. juz coz friends ask if dere's any shuai guyz ard i muz go purposely find? Am i stupid or wat. Dun care, i dun wan any eye candies in e first place n i sure dun wan any now. Haiz. juz let me turn back time 2 JC or sec sch.. anything but this horrible period of time i'm experiencing.
Ok, Enough, time 2 b more optimistic n forget all tt juz happened. Let time cause all these 2 fade.. fade away to nothingness.... it'll b for e best.
Recent msn nick: appearances r deceiving, ppl r not wat they appear 2 b, 2 dream a fairytale romance, 2 dream a fairytale, cease dont juz dont, dont patronise me!
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
quizzes..
| Your Five Factor Personality Profile |
 Extroversion: You have low extroversion. You are quiet and reserved in most social situations. A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you. You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people. Conscientiousness: You have medium conscientiousness. You're generally good at balancing work and play. When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done. But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it. Agreeableness: You have low agreeableness. Your self interest comes first, and others come later, if at all. In general, you feel that people are not to be trusted. And you're skeptical that anyone else really feels differently. Neuroticism: You have low neuroticism. You are very emotionally stable and mentally together. Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly. Overall, you are typically calm and relaxed - making others feel secure. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is low. You're a pretty conservative person, and you favor what's socially acceptable. You think that change for novelty's sake is a very bad idea. While some may see this as boring, many see you as dependable and wise. |
| You Have Low Self Esteem 36% of the Time |
 Generally, you feel pretty darn great about who you are, even when you mess up or fail. Occasionally, a huge setback will make you question yourself, but you pick yourself up quickly. |
| Your Inner Blood Type is Type A |
 You seem cool and collected, though a bit shy. You are highly driven and a perfectionist, but that's a side you keep to yourself. Creative and artistic, you are a very unique person who doesn't quite fit in. People accept you more than you realize, seeing you as trustworthy and loyal. You are most compatible with: A and AB Famous Type A's: Britney Spears and Hilter |
| You Are 50% Boyish and 50% Girlish |
You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be. |
| The Keys to Your Heart |
 You are attracted to good manners and elegance. In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you. You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage something you've always wanted... though you haven't really thought about it. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily. |
| You Have a Phlegmatic Temperament |
 Mild mannered and laid back, you take life at a slow pace. You are very consistent - both in emotions and actions. You tend to absorb set backs easily. You are cool and collected. It is difficult to offend you. You can remain composed and unemotional. You are a great friend and lover. You don't demand much of others. While you are quiet, you have a subtle wit that your friends know well. At your worst, you are lazy and unwilling to work at anything. You often get stuck in a rut, without aspirations or dreams. You can get too dependent on others, setting yourself up for abandonment. |
| You Are a Mermaid |
 You are a total daydreamer, and people tend to think you're flakier than you actually are. While your head is often in the clouds, you'll always come back to earth to help someone in need. Beyond being a caring person, you are also very intelligent and rational. You understand the connections of the universe better than almost anyone else. |
| Your Dosha is Kapha |
 Calm and grounded, you are not prone to mood swings or anger. However, once you do get angry, it takes a lot to cool you down. You tend to think a little slower than most people, but your logic is astounding. Overall, you very loyal and trustworthy. You're not scared of being who you really are. With friends: You enjoy their company, but often listen more than talk In love: You crave connection and affection. It's hard for you to be single. To achieve more balance: Exercise vigorously (especially in the sun) and let go of attachments. |
| Your Love Type: ISFP |
 The Artist In love, you feel deeply and experience intense emotions. For you, sex is serious. It's how you best express your feelings. Overall, you are laid back, warm, and a good listener. However, you tend to seem lazy and disinterested sometimes. Best matches: ESFJ and ENFJ |
what are you looking for in a relationship?girrrlz [awesomely awesome pix]
heh was kinda bored during work n also suddenly quizzes seem 2 appeal 2 me. Had lots of fun taking quizzes! :D
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
| Your Birthdate: December 28 |
 You have a Type A personality so big it makes other Type A's shrink away in shame. You never shy away from adversity - and you love to tackle impossible problems. Failure is not an option for you, and more than a few people are put off by your ego. You tend to be controlling, and you hate leaving anything up to chance. Your strength: Your bold approach to life Your weakness: You don't accept help Your power color: Bronze Your power symbol: Pyramid Your power month: October |
Was reading thru a friend's blog n saw this n decided 2 try it... interesting outcome..
Anyway, when reading thru her blog,realised how mean i was/am, dunno... insensitive 2 others' feelings... esp wif the words i say. She wrote smthg down on her blog, smthg tt i said... n i realised it was a rather mean thing of me 2 sae... though she wrote thx as wat i said apparently woke her up 2 e need 2 b a better person n all... but it was evil of me all the same. N i thought i was always careful wif my words. Guess i thought wrong. Anyway, life's ok. First day of new job, was super late... haha, typical of me but honestly, 1st dae of work, tsk.
Was missing yijia n cindy lyk crazy... wat wif a new envt n strangers all ard. Of coz i made new friends... ppl dere r juz as nice but well, cant help thinking abt my ex-colleagues n dearest friends haha... Work's ok. After all, there isnt much gd stuff tt a temp staff can do lol... happening colleauges make e place better heh. Dinner outings is something 2 b expected, on a wkly basis, heh. Going out wif friends after work is of coz even better! Watched stomp e yard recently, similar 2 step up. But cool nonetheless. Pity fred didnt get his movie outing.. i still got 2 watch e movie in e end which is gd 2 me :)
Anyway, saw this in an email n thought the advice is gd:
Love is not 2 forget but 2 forgive, not 2 c but 2 understand, not 2 hear But 2 listen, not 2 let go but 2 HOLD ON !!!!
Don't ever leave the one you love for the one you like, because theone You like will leave you for the one they love.
Find a guy, who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
Who calls you back when you hang up on him.
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead.
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends.
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much heCares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's Her."
Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's Her."
Pretty interesting advice(it was after a love story..chain letter style so ya). Anyway, rite now, for me, it's time 2 make friends n hav fun! :D My heart shall b warm 2 friends n family only :)
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Adapting to changes aint easy...
Just started my new job... at singapore national eye centre... as temp HR assist... but i'm not really working in the HR dept yet... soon i will... after i'm done wif my work in some other dept... coz i'm a temp staff, who can b borrowed by other dept to help them do stuff... kinda reluctant to adapt to changes again when i shift to another floor... juz when i'm getting used 2 the ppl and the work... haiz. Hope that it will b ok. That the job will b ok. That the ppl will b ok. i guess the job is the more impt factor... esp considering that i'm gonna stay for close to 4 mths in that place. So far it's been alright... but i dunno what it'll b like once i shift to another floor... rite now i'm on the floor where all the doctors' tables r at... but they're hardly in coz they're always in their clinics... so the place is rather peaceful n quiet, not tt many ppl despite the many tables ard. the HR dept will b diff, it will b full of ppl... n rather a smaller working area as compared to the floor i'm at. Oh well. We'll c.
Sometimes, when there's nthg 2 occupy ur mind wif, no studying n all... u'll start wondering abt the uncertainties of life. Abt wat i'm doing now, y am i doing it, the pointless-ness of it all.. n wat should i do instead... but there's lyk nthg that i can or need 2 do... in that sense, i guess being a student is the best. Sch will always b on my mind, occupying my thoughts n keeping me from thinking abt life's purpose-which can b rather depressing at times. Well, my colleagues rather happening, going out for dinner on mon n thurs this wk, only my 1st wk of work n alr i can witness their enthusiasm in making work livelier ;) heh. Fun..
Sometimes, when there's nthg 2 occupy ur mind wif, no studying n all... u'll start wondering abt the uncertainties of life. Abt wat i'm doing now, y am i doing it, the pointless-ness of it all.. n wat should i do instead... but there's lyk nthg that i can or need 2 do... in that sense, i guess being a student is the best. Sch will always b on my mind, occupying my thoughts n keeping me from thinking abt life's purpose-which can b rather depressing at times. Well, my colleagues rather happening, going out for dinner on mon n thurs this wk, only my 1st wk of work n alr i can witness their enthusiasm in making work livelier ;) heh. Fun..
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
friends- u all make life worth living!
It's been super long since i last blogged. Lots has happened since.
Finding a job. Start of 1st job. Getting to know new people aka colleagues. Release of the 'A' level results. Emotional Upheavals. End of 1st job. In search of a 2nd job. Learning driving. Keeping in touch with old friends. THinking abt my direction in life; my future career and hence my course of study in uni. Which uni and whether i can make myself study science again... or should i take something totally different.. Lots of things weighing on my mind.
But anyway, despite all these, i want to thank everyone who's been dere supporting me thru this time...
my dear s15 class girls: shuyu,fel,xt,mitch,
my ever-wonderful archery girls team ppl: wendy,rach
n even my colleague yijia:)
n also those who've no idea y i'm so depressed/troubled but were dere all e same..like fred n esp cindy my colleague n potential travelling partner! ;)
i kinda wish that i'm back in sec sch or jc where there isnt so many things to consider, to decide. Where hwk is usually the only thing on my mind, with no other crappy stuff to worry abt. I dun want 2 grow up. i finally realise how horrible it is to have to work to get income. Work is tiring. Though studying is too, but at least i learn loads in sch, so much more than in the working world.. and it's more fun in school than in any workplace. To me.
Now tt i've finished my 1st job, I thought i'll enjoy the freedom that i'll get from not working.. but instead now i'm worrying abt my expenditure, esp when i'm not having any income.. n i seem 2 b spending more these days... coz i hav so much time on my hands.. haiz. but i definitely need 2 b paid more 4 my next job. i need 2 pay my sch fees 4 gdness' sake. but i cant b too picky either. crap.
Been wanting 2 blog but nv really got down 2 getting it all down. Doing this to thank all those who've been dere n is still dere 4 me :) thanks ppl.
Finding a job. Start of 1st job. Getting to know new people aka colleagues. Release of the 'A' level results. Emotional Upheavals. End of 1st job. In search of a 2nd job. Learning driving. Keeping in touch with old friends. THinking abt my direction in life; my future career and hence my course of study in uni. Which uni and whether i can make myself study science again... or should i take something totally different.. Lots of things weighing on my mind.
But anyway, despite all these, i want to thank everyone who's been dere supporting me thru this time...
my dear s15 class girls: shuyu,fel,xt,mitch,
my ever-wonderful archery girls team ppl: wendy,rach
n even my colleague yijia:)
n also those who've no idea y i'm so depressed/troubled but were dere all e same..like fred n esp cindy my colleague n potential travelling partner! ;)
i kinda wish that i'm back in sec sch or jc where there isnt so many things to consider, to decide. Where hwk is usually the only thing on my mind, with no other crappy stuff to worry abt. I dun want 2 grow up. i finally realise how horrible it is to have to work to get income. Work is tiring. Though studying is too, but at least i learn loads in sch, so much more than in the working world.. and it's more fun in school than in any workplace. To me.
Now tt i've finished my 1st job, I thought i'll enjoy the freedom that i'll get from not working.. but instead now i'm worrying abt my expenditure, esp when i'm not having any income.. n i seem 2 b spending more these days... coz i hav so much time on my hands.. haiz. but i definitely need 2 b paid more 4 my next job. i need 2 pay my sch fees 4 gdness' sake. but i cant b too picky either. crap.
Been wanting 2 blog but nv really got down 2 getting it all down. Doing this to thank all those who've been dere n is still dere 4 me :) thanks ppl.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
wat's been up so far..
well... 3 dec was grad nite... a month ago.. was quite ok, better than e baccalaureate service at any rate. Took some photos. Cam wasnt really co-operating though. nvm got a few pix is enough. e diff between this n sec 4 is well, e ppl i guess. When i went dere, no one was familiar n i had 2 seek among a sea of unfamiliar ppl 2 find those whom i noe. e prog were ok. there was post-prom but i didnt go. was lyk 1120pm ard dere.
hmmm... then since then... there was e shooting club chalet... which i went n still dun get y i went. It was pure ugh. lyk go dun go obviously doesnt matter. a member's presence is hardly impt. y did i go... i still dunno. e only gd thing tt happened tt day was me getting a job. Agent called n was picked lyk a few min later... was so happy 4 tt short time. hmmm was fun seeing mr tiew again. thx 4 fetching me outta e place again. didnt stay long thank gdness.
then ever since i started work on e 18 dec... was rather tiring e first wk. first wk worked 5 days. 2nd wk worked 4 days.. thx 2 oh wonderful christmas hol! then 3rd wk which is this wk.. worked 3 days! Rawks man! haha... n i've been busy gg out after work these 2 wks! haha! i think it's e gg out after work tt makes e day bearable :) met up wif s15 ppl, mg ppl, archers, even hc ppl! Things were cool. lots of ppl celebrated my bdae 4 me.. so happy! it's juz so great knowing so many ppl remembered n were willing 2 give up their time n all. had lyk 3 other cakes/slices of cake aside from my own yummy ice-cream cake! first was e archers kbox outing.. hah i totally didnt expect e cake..i muz b totally stupid..then was kay yifang ele n ash they all.. wif e highly chocolaty slice of cake.. thx! i once again didnt c tt coming.. how silly. then was class chalet which was at yushu's house.. they celebrated all e dec ppl's bdae but was still gd. wasnt feeling well so didnt stay overnite or eat e cake either... one of e only ones who didnt stay. all e other girls cept shuyu who went stayed over..but i'm still truly grateful 4 it, e chalet n everything was gd. e fd was gd n we(girls) were being served e whole time.. more or less haha. apparently e guyz organise e WHOLE thing... totally shocked.
this wk went out on erm wed n thurs... watched Death Note 2 wif fel, mitch n shuyu on thurs nite(830pm)!!! Man it so rox! L is lyk so so so smart. n Light is naturally a genius too but i hate how he keeps using e girls who love him. Misa n his ex-gf Shiori. sheesh. but still respect him 4 his cautiousness n ability 2 stay ahead of e police if not L.at least e actor's cute. ;) it ended ard 11pm...i think fel made it 4 e last bus at least. thankfully. :) then hmm on wed went 4 hc chalet... s67's last gathering in a way. coz e earliest date tt one of e guyz is gg in is jan 9. so early. anyway.. it's been lyk a yr since i last saw them or made much contact wif 'em. juz so glad tt they still invited us first-intakers... treating us as still part of e class despite e distance. hmm pity tt qt couldnt catch e shuttlebus n made a wasted trip down... tt was so crap. anyway... went dere after work n stayed 4 lyk 1 n 3/4hr. kinda short but well still had 2 work e next day. went dere n alice joy they all were lyk... dont recognise u... coz i was wearing working clothes... watched my dressing 4 tt day... of coz muz leave gd impression :) hmmm rebuilt some relationships tt nite... wif e girls. :) it's been so long but it's lyk they didnt change much... to me... but heard tt e class became so much rowdier since e guyz ratio rose drastically.. haha.. poor teachers.. they muz hav suffered.a lot from wat i heard. hmm got 2 c most ppl.. but not all were dere. when i went dere felt really awkward standing in front of e guyz.. they werent really looking too thankfully so i quickly went upstairs haha. intimidating no of guyz i guess. as usual. was ok.. nice fd! bbq not bad despite e rain.. canvas sheet n all..sher's hair is neat..hmm jw realised tt i was dere when i was busy eating marshmallows haha.. then we chatted..talked 2 ivan 4 lyk a few sec haha.thank you jenny 4 riding e shuttlebus wif me back 2 tanah merah mrt station. kinda find it silly 2 travel so far on a working day but oh well. 4 e sake of e invitation.. tt they didnt forget us.yingjie was dere too.. after so long. e guyz were lyk so non-interactive as usual.4 e whole day from wat i heard.
hmmm well..really hope can go out at least once a wk every wk... it reliefs e day's work. in a way. but it's gd gg home n resting early too.. hmm.. hope can arrange tt meeting tt wendy wants soon. it's so diff n so hard 2 contact everyone by e looks of things. sigh. we'll c if fate decreeds it 2 b so. we'll c.
hmmm... then since then... there was e shooting club chalet... which i went n still dun get y i went. It was pure ugh. lyk go dun go obviously doesnt matter. a member's presence is hardly impt. y did i go... i still dunno. e only gd thing tt happened tt day was me getting a job. Agent called n was picked lyk a few min later... was so happy 4 tt short time. hmmm was fun seeing mr tiew again. thx 4 fetching me outta e place again. didnt stay long thank gdness.
then ever since i started work on e 18 dec... was rather tiring e first wk. first wk worked 5 days. 2nd wk worked 4 days.. thx 2 oh wonderful christmas hol! then 3rd wk which is this wk.. worked 3 days! Rawks man! haha... n i've been busy gg out after work these 2 wks! haha! i think it's e gg out after work tt makes e day bearable :) met up wif s15 ppl, mg ppl, archers, even hc ppl! Things were cool. lots of ppl celebrated my bdae 4 me.. so happy! it's juz so great knowing so many ppl remembered n were willing 2 give up their time n all. had lyk 3 other cakes/slices of cake aside from my own yummy ice-cream cake! first was e archers kbox outing.. hah i totally didnt expect e cake..i muz b totally stupid..then was kay yifang ele n ash they all.. wif e highly chocolaty slice of cake.. thx! i once again didnt c tt coming.. how silly. then was class chalet which was at yushu's house.. they celebrated all e dec ppl's bdae but was still gd. wasnt feeling well so didnt stay overnite or eat e cake either... one of e only ones who didnt stay. all e other girls cept shuyu who went stayed over..but i'm still truly grateful 4 it, e chalet n everything was gd. e fd was gd n we(girls) were being served e whole time.. more or less haha. apparently e guyz organise e WHOLE thing... totally shocked.
this wk went out on erm wed n thurs... watched Death Note 2 wif fel, mitch n shuyu on thurs nite(830pm)!!! Man it so rox! L is lyk so so so smart. n Light is naturally a genius too but i hate how he keeps using e girls who love him. Misa n his ex-gf Shiori. sheesh. but still respect him 4 his cautiousness n ability 2 stay ahead of e police if not L.at least e actor's cute. ;) it ended ard 11pm...i think fel made it 4 e last bus at least. thankfully. :) then hmm on wed went 4 hc chalet... s67's last gathering in a way. coz e earliest date tt one of e guyz is gg in is jan 9. so early. anyway.. it's been lyk a yr since i last saw them or made much contact wif 'em. juz so glad tt they still invited us first-intakers... treating us as still part of e class despite e distance. hmm pity tt qt couldnt catch e shuttlebus n made a wasted trip down... tt was so crap. anyway... went dere after work n stayed 4 lyk 1 n 3/4hr. kinda short but well still had 2 work e next day. went dere n alice joy they all were lyk... dont recognise u... coz i was wearing working clothes... watched my dressing 4 tt day... of coz muz leave gd impression :) hmmm rebuilt some relationships tt nite... wif e girls. :) it's been so long but it's lyk they didnt change much... to me... but heard tt e class became so much rowdier since e guyz ratio rose drastically.. haha.. poor teachers.. they muz hav suffered.a lot from wat i heard. hmm got 2 c most ppl.. but not all were dere. when i went dere felt really awkward standing in front of e guyz.. they werent really looking too thankfully so i quickly went upstairs haha. intimidating no of guyz i guess. as usual. was ok.. nice fd! bbq not bad despite e rain.. canvas sheet n all..sher's hair is neat..hmm jw realised tt i was dere when i was busy eating marshmallows haha.. then we chatted..talked 2 ivan 4 lyk a few sec haha.thank you jenny 4 riding e shuttlebus wif me back 2 tanah merah mrt station. kinda find it silly 2 travel so far on a working day but oh well. 4 e sake of e invitation.. tt they didnt forget us.yingjie was dere too.. after so long. e guyz were lyk so non-interactive as usual.4 e whole day from wat i heard.
hmmm well..really hope can go out at least once a wk every wk... it reliefs e day's work. in a way. but it's gd gg home n resting early too.. hmm.. hope can arrange tt meeting tt wendy wants soon. it's so diff n so hard 2 contact everyone by e looks of things. sigh. we'll c if fate decreeds it 2 b so. we'll c.
Saturday, December 02, 2006
enjoyable outing!
heh.. went out yesterdae, 1/12 fri for a lunch wif mg friends! it's been so long,... n i got many gifts from yifang n kay! N juz meeting up wif ash, ele, jo, amelia, alicia, daphne.. they all... it's juz great! so happy... even though it was only for a short while... went villa'ge heeren 2 eat... pretty lousy competition as compared 2 marche... they both look exactly e same.. e decor n everything.. oh well, they honestly should try product differentiating.. mebbe there's a diff in their service attitude.. wif marche being e 1 wif e upper hand n all.. oh well. Unpleasant stuff i shant bother wif. coz they're not worth remembering...
Wat's worth rmbering is yifang, ash n ele willing 2 shop 4 working clothes wif me! THANK YOU! u all rawk! until lyk erm 7pm! n finally found a shop at far east which offers reasonable pricing n suitably designed clothes... quality wise a bit lacking but oh well. it's only for a temporary job. i do still intend 2 study after working.. when e results come out n all.. juz hope e agencies i asked will hurry up n get me a suitable job.. preferably by next wk but tt's a bit too much 2 ask of 'em. hope e offer will b gd. hope tt i'll learn stuff n be able 2 find wat i wanna take up as my future career at e same time. yupz. yifang gg states soon 4 hol n every1's prom aka grad nite is approaching. Not really interested in it but still hav 2 go. Oh well. Take it as something 2 while my time away kinda thing. hope it's worth e time n effort n $ spent on it! OH i wanna get a job n start earning all tt $ wasted on this thing. ;) jk..
Wat's worth rmbering is yifang, ash n ele willing 2 shop 4 working clothes wif me! THANK YOU! u all rawk! until lyk erm 7pm! n finally found a shop at far east which offers reasonable pricing n suitably designed clothes... quality wise a bit lacking but oh well. it's only for a temporary job. i do still intend 2 study after working.. when e results come out n all.. juz hope e agencies i asked will hurry up n get me a suitable job.. preferably by next wk but tt's a bit too much 2 ask of 'em. hope e offer will b gd. hope tt i'll learn stuff n be able 2 find wat i wanna take up as my future career at e same time. yupz. yifang gg states soon 4 hol n every1's prom aka grad nite is approaching. Not really interested in it but still hav 2 go. Oh well. Take it as something 2 while my time away kinda thing. hope it's worth e time n effort n $ spent on it! OH i wanna get a job n start earning all tt $ wasted on this thing. ;) jk..
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Exams r finally over~
yay... 'A's have finally come to an end.. and well now's the time to juz sit back n relax... at least for a while before using the break time wisely and look for a job and all... wanna hav a team dinner or smthg, havent seen e team together in a long time.. 21/11 tue went back to sch after eating dinner wif e girls' team (cept dx) at a korean restaurant.. to check out e jnrs' camp trng.. saw mr lee teaching 'em how to juggle as part of mental trng... interesting... haha oh well... seem 'em so sunburnt is quite funny... now it's their turn... when it was ours last yr.. i need 2 start trng again soon.. so not fit after e break to study for prelim n 'A's... yah, muz get up e determination to do juz tt... soon... lol... soon. :)
Imagine not having to study for 7 months after studying for most of ur life ever since entering erm kindergarten? ya.. it's quite an interesting feeling but i'm not really tt fond of examing it closely.. coz well u dun exactly get 2 relax coz well 2 face reality, u'll hav 2 find a job, coz it's expected of u 2 use this time wisely 2 gain experience n earn $ n find out wat i wish 2 b in e future, as in wat kind of career i want... but i dunno.. i still dunno wat i'm gonna b in e future.. juz cant seem 2 find anything tt i'm interested in.. much less 2 make a career outta it for e rest of my lives,... hope a ray of inspiration may strike me suddenly soon n i'll find a career suitable 4 me..
Imagine not having to study for 7 months after studying for most of ur life ever since entering erm kindergarten? ya.. it's quite an interesting feeling but i'm not really tt fond of examing it closely.. coz well u dun exactly get 2 relax coz well 2 face reality, u'll hav 2 find a job, coz it's expected of u 2 use this time wisely 2 gain experience n earn $ n find out wat i wish 2 b in e future, as in wat kind of career i want... but i dunno.. i still dunno wat i'm gonna b in e future.. juz cant seem 2 find anything tt i'm interested in.. much less 2 make a career outta it for e rest of my lives,... hope a ray of inspiration may strike me suddenly soon n i'll find a career suitable 4 me..
Sunday, October 15, 2006
state of uncertainty...
Not quite sure wat to do now... maths results was traumatic.. now i'm so worried abt maths too... haiz... no more peace of mind. 'A's is lyk way too close 4 comfort... n i feel utterly unprepared. Not sure wat i'm doing now is worth it a not. haha. not sure if wat i'm doing now will help. i guess i'll juz have 2 believe in myself. difficult but muz try. if not 2 give up now, i'll regret it 4 life. after all this is for myself.
anyway juz e other day.. suddenly missing e team, missing every1... saw some of them ard sch n juz realised tt it's been a while since we met up.. haiz. i'll have to buck up from now on. Absolutely.
anyway juz e other day.. suddenly missing e team, missing every1... saw some of them ard sch n juz realised tt it's been a while since we met up.. haiz. i'll have to buck up from now on. Absolutely.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
:)
today, got back most of prelim results, so disappointing but well, couldn't care less at this stage.. lyk every1 says, 'A's is then e one tt we've got 2 strive 4. guess i finally decide 2 heed their advice. anyway, had 5 days of break after prelims... juz whiled my time away.. quite a nice feeling but i was kinda feeling empty also.. lyk there's nthg 2 do 4 now.. juz dunno how i'm gonna use my time after 'A's but tt's 4 later 2 think abt. for now, it's juz resting 2 e best of my abilities.
was watching princess hrs on youtube during e 5 days... real nice show, guess i got addicted haha, sat in front of comp 4 lyk almost 12 hrs straight..but well, juz wanna watch this finish so tt i can officially concentrate on juz studyin n studying 4 'A's. last sat, had bbq at west coast park wif e archers! haha was real fun! even though e day didn't exactly started out well n all, n how ppl lyk fred, bing n dx couldn't make it, but i'm really glad 4 those we could, esp those wif lyk phy s paper n yet they still turned up.. dunno whether 2 praise them or wat.. still got paper then alr gg out... oh well, had a really great time! e fire was gd, amazingly they managed 2 set it up, still want so much firestarters, ha. e fd esp e chicken wings were gd... oh no mosquitoes too... wat can i say, was real nice. i didnt do any cooking at all haha, i'm lyk super lazy juz sitting there waiting 4 fd.. but tt would b better, if not i'll ruin e evening wif charred n half-cooked fd.. pity e corn was always half-burnt.. jason came too even though his promos r lyk this wk, but v poor thing, he alone haha oh well. Muz really thank jg 4 buying all e non-edibles even though he strictly followed e list n didn't bother 2 buy other stuff... hehe, muz hav been heavy, only he was free 2 do e shopping... n when he arrived he was lyk i noe u all couldnt start w/o me so i was hurrying... yah gentleman, didnt say something stupid lyk i purposely walk slowly make u all wait 4 me... lol, anyway, muz really hand it 2 wendy 4 bringing most of e things too... despite a hangover e previous day:) haha oh well.
guess i'm really glad 4 e 5 days. but i'm really not happy wif my results n all, esp since i noe tt wat's left 2 b revealed isnt gd so e prospect of gg 2 sch tmr isnt v wonderful. let's really really hope tt 'A's will b better, easier in tt sense 4 me 2 score~
was watching princess hrs on youtube during e 5 days... real nice show, guess i got addicted haha, sat in front of comp 4 lyk almost 12 hrs straight..but well, juz wanna watch this finish so tt i can officially concentrate on juz studyin n studying 4 'A's. last sat, had bbq at west coast park wif e archers! haha was real fun! even though e day didn't exactly started out well n all, n how ppl lyk fred, bing n dx couldn't make it, but i'm really glad 4 those we could, esp those wif lyk phy s paper n yet they still turned up.. dunno whether 2 praise them or wat.. still got paper then alr gg out... oh well, had a really great time! e fire was gd, amazingly they managed 2 set it up, still want so much firestarters, ha. e fd esp e chicken wings were gd... oh no mosquitoes too... wat can i say, was real nice. i didnt do any cooking at all haha, i'm lyk super lazy juz sitting there waiting 4 fd.. but tt would b better, if not i'll ruin e evening wif charred n half-cooked fd.. pity e corn was always half-burnt.. jason came too even though his promos r lyk this wk, but v poor thing, he alone haha oh well. Muz really thank jg 4 buying all e non-edibles even though he strictly followed e list n didn't bother 2 buy other stuff... hehe, muz hav been heavy, only he was free 2 do e shopping... n when he arrived he was lyk i noe u all couldnt start w/o me so i was hurrying... yah gentleman, didnt say something stupid lyk i purposely walk slowly make u all wait 4 me... lol, anyway, muz really hand it 2 wendy 4 bringing most of e things too... despite a hangover e previous day:) haha oh well.
guess i'm really glad 4 e 5 days. but i'm really not happy wif my results n all, esp since i noe tt wat's left 2 b revealed isnt gd so e prospect of gg 2 sch tmr isnt v wonderful. let's really really hope tt 'A's will b better, easier in tt sense 4 me 2 score~
Thursday, August 24, 2006
1 of e worst days ever..
monday, 21 august.. was 1 of e worst days ever.. in my entire life so far.. not only did i come 2 sch feeling down, coz was really tired thx 2 e tossing n turning in bed until 2am thing b4 i could fall asleep.. n sun nite looked thru chem til 1 am, started at 12am..coz was doing other work tt had 2 b done..came 2 sch feeling really tired.. when i woke up i seriously contemplated not gg 2 sch tt day.. but dere was chem org test.. anyway.. feeling down.. then chem made it worst.. checked mcq, 1/10marks.. realised tt nthg much went in e previous nite, sigh.. n my 2 yrs of studies apparently didnt help either.. i was so sad.. n i couldnt do nj phy prelim p3 some qns.. 1 actually.. tt was actually a slight conceptual error.. so supposedly no big deal.. but u noe, most of e rest of e qns had little blanks here n dere coz of tt 1st error.. now tt i think back, actually i did it correctly, juz wasnt sure abt tt part.. n anyway, juz felt as if i can't do anything, phy chem, all cant do.. as if my 2 yrs of studies was 4 naught. then coz i was looking so forlorn n kinda 1/2 complaining/sighing away 2 my classmates.. had a lot of ppl cheering me up.. trying 2.. then maths, last period, maths stats mock exam results out.. all except 4 in class didn't get A.. i got a B.. n prelim is supposedly 5x more difficult.. i was so down.. coz if i get B here, who noes wat i'll get in prelims, i wouldn't let this beat me now, no way, i'm gd at maths n i'm not gg 2 let this make me lose my A...
anyway, it's lyk juz when u're abt 2 stand up, smthg comes along n hits u down again.. sigh.. but i got a nice black paper wif comforting msg from 2 of my classmates.. haha, v sweet of u 2... thx guyz.. really appreciate it...then lots of sms trying 2 cheer me up were sent e rest of e day.. from xt, shweta, hx, mitch, amanda, even fred.. who knew coz amanda 4 no reason showed him my sms.. yupz... thx all.. it really helped.. in preventing me from sinking even lower into nthg-ness.. haha...
but these few days, hav been sleeping at 1am.. not even really studying yet, juz doing e hwk n revision stuff they gave us..n e stupid top 3 cca achievements thingy, haiz... i really really really desperately need some time alone 2 myself 2 study.. n i'm being deprieved of tt.. sigh, wat can i say, life is nv easy.. well, read somewhere tt giving up is e easiest thing 2 do, but in so doing, u give up all tt's impt 2 u! i edited it 2 suit my needs, i think it's quite true.. oh well, trying 2 fight on..nv realised tt i'll b so stressed out.. but i guess when u're faced wif e prospect of having wasted 2 yrs.. no way.. tt'll nv happen, trying 2 do my best from now on.. even ms kao msged me 2dae saying tt i look quite worn out this wk.. haha.. not bad, she can tell.. but i guess who cant rite.. every1 prob looks lyk tt nowadays..
wed.. gathered e masses so as 2 speak(quoting wendy) meaning some of e archers 2 sit down n do smthg abt e stupid cca achievements thing.. thx all 4 being so sporting n turning up, esp those who're alr done wif theirs.. lyk fred n weide.. anyway.. tue msged every1 abt it.. n e whole day i didn't receive any replies abt it.. sigh.. thought every1 suddenly hates me 4 watever reason n was quite sad n worried over it... thought mebbe all of them fell sick n cant reply.. 5 ppl- no replies received.. found out on wed tt it was my phone tt was e prob, now it seems ok alr.. dunno y, dun think it has got smthg 2 do wif calling up singtel last nite.. oh well.. found out tt wendy was sick n weide was more or less sick but his was on tue n wendy's one is on tue n wed.. sounds strange referring 2 being sick lyk tt.. oh well.. exams r weakening our immune system.. came back early 2 do work... but now feeling sleepy.. tired.. need 2 do work though.. need 2 study.. need 2 get offline now.. zzzzzzzzz............
anyway, it's lyk juz when u're abt 2 stand up, smthg comes along n hits u down again.. sigh.. but i got a nice black paper wif comforting msg from 2 of my classmates.. haha, v sweet of u 2... thx guyz.. really appreciate it...then lots of sms trying 2 cheer me up were sent e rest of e day.. from xt, shweta, hx, mitch, amanda, even fred.. who knew coz amanda 4 no reason showed him my sms.. yupz... thx all.. it really helped.. in preventing me from sinking even lower into nthg-ness.. haha...
but these few days, hav been sleeping at 1am.. not even really studying yet, juz doing e hwk n revision stuff they gave us..n e stupid top 3 cca achievements thingy, haiz... i really really really desperately need some time alone 2 myself 2 study.. n i'm being deprieved of tt.. sigh, wat can i say, life is nv easy.. well, read somewhere tt giving up is e easiest thing 2 do, but in so doing, u give up all tt's impt 2 u! i edited it 2 suit my needs, i think it's quite true.. oh well, trying 2 fight on..nv realised tt i'll b so stressed out.. but i guess when u're faced wif e prospect of having wasted 2 yrs.. no way.. tt'll nv happen, trying 2 do my best from now on.. even ms kao msged me 2dae saying tt i look quite worn out this wk.. haha.. not bad, she can tell.. but i guess who cant rite.. every1 prob looks lyk tt nowadays..
wed.. gathered e masses so as 2 speak(quoting wendy) meaning some of e archers 2 sit down n do smthg abt e stupid cca achievements thing.. thx all 4 being so sporting n turning up, esp those who're alr done wif theirs.. lyk fred n weide.. anyway.. tue msged every1 abt it.. n e whole day i didn't receive any replies abt it.. sigh.. thought every1 suddenly hates me 4 watever reason n was quite sad n worried over it... thought mebbe all of them fell sick n cant reply.. 5 ppl- no replies received.. found out on wed tt it was my phone tt was e prob, now it seems ok alr.. dunno y, dun think it has got smthg 2 do wif calling up singtel last nite.. oh well.. found out tt wendy was sick n weide was more or less sick but his was on tue n wendy's one is on tue n wed.. sounds strange referring 2 being sick lyk tt.. oh well.. exams r weakening our immune system.. came back early 2 do work... but now feeling sleepy.. tired.. need 2 do work though.. need 2 study.. need 2 get offline now.. zzzzzzzzz............
kbox outing~
went for kbox outing wif my team! fun! lol.. was initially a simple outing, wif nthg in mind, cept perhaps movie.. not initiated by me.. by some1 who desperately wanted 2 go out.. aka mr artist, ha,give him new name again... anyway.. pushed e organisation 2 junguang who obviously didnt plan it..he tried, he asked some ppl where 2 go.. n he asked no furthur.bleah. so i called every1 up rite after national day celeb which was as usual no fun, or not as fun as mg was.. anyway, realised tt every1 had smthg on until e afternoon.. so i followed my friend 2 toa payoh.. lunched wif her... actually kinda barged in on her day.. it was not planned.. juz suddenly decided 2 go wif her.. haha.. poor xt.. thx 4 being so nice 2 me n showing me ard toa payoh!
yah.. then i went 2 orchard library 2 study... where wendy joined me... after lunching wif her friend downstairs... then 2pm, gg down escalator n wendy saw zhiyu in kino... so we popped in on her n her friend... then we left 4 cine 2gether.. where we found junguang in uniform which was strange coz he came from home... he said he didn't wanna stand out.. lol.. anyway.. had 2 make our way 2 dunno wat floor 2 find fred who was dota-ing or watever it's called. so checked movie timing..felt nthg nice coz some of us watched this or tt b4... yah.. so suddenly decided on kbox! haha, n zhiyu said my face lit up when tt was proposed...so we went down n got ourselves a room.. partly coz wendy said e previous wkend she got teased 4 havent been 2 a ktv or stuff lyk tt b4.. so yah, it's not juz coz of me lor! anyway... prob sang most of e eng songs in dere, so little songs bleah.. so out-dated too.. but well, not all of us prefer chinese songs wat... anyway.. yupz had fun all e same, was pretty high towards e end.. supposed 2 end at 5.. we drag until lyk 630.. ok lar, me n zhiyu drag until tt time.. but it was fun.. midway weide joined us from badminton game... anyway.. yah.. had fun, kinda ex.. but it's ok... yupz. then home sweet home.. coz a lot of ppl were really tired out.. n initially wanted 2 leave earlier.. but didn't get e chance to do so.. so srry wendy n wd.. anyway... prelims coming. will stop this now. nitez~
yah.. then i went 2 orchard library 2 study... where wendy joined me... after lunching wif her friend downstairs... then 2pm, gg down escalator n wendy saw zhiyu in kino... so we popped in on her n her friend... then we left 4 cine 2gether.. where we found junguang in uniform which was strange coz he came from home... he said he didn't wanna stand out.. lol.. anyway.. had 2 make our way 2 dunno wat floor 2 find fred who was dota-ing or watever it's called. so checked movie timing..felt nthg nice coz some of us watched this or tt b4... yah.. so suddenly decided on kbox! haha, n zhiyu said my face lit up when tt was proposed...so we went down n got ourselves a room.. partly coz wendy said e previous wkend she got teased 4 havent been 2 a ktv or stuff lyk tt b4.. so yah, it's not juz coz of me lor! anyway... prob sang most of e eng songs in dere, so little songs bleah.. so out-dated too.. but well, not all of us prefer chinese songs wat... anyway.. yupz had fun all e same, was pretty high towards e end.. supposed 2 end at 5.. we drag until lyk 630.. ok lar, me n zhiyu drag until tt time.. but it was fun.. midway weide joined us from badminton game... anyway.. yah.. had fun, kinda ex.. but it's ok... yupz. then home sweet home.. coz a lot of ppl were really tired out.. n initially wanted 2 leave earlier.. but didn't get e chance to do so.. so srry wendy n wd.. anyway... prelims coming. will stop this now. nitez~
Sunday, August 06, 2006
time... pls dun fly away...~
oh no... watching e sands of time trickle down the hourglass... wishing with all my heart i can stop it... or slow it down... oh how i wish...
bleak times are ahead... desperate times call for desperate measures... fine, i shall force myself 2 stay back everyday after sch from now on... not too late though, later for wed-fri... earlier on mon n tue... realised tt i'll fall asleep whenever i come home early after sch or juz usual time... instead of doing e work i wanted to... no matter how much i want to, i cant really resist e lures of morpheus' realm. humph. can only blame myself for not being strong enuff, willpower n all. but sleep is really such an enjoyable thing... anyway... sleepy now... from doing nthg all day... sheesh... nitez.... Nyx watch over us all~
bleak times are ahead... desperate times call for desperate measures... fine, i shall force myself 2 stay back everyday after sch from now on... not too late though, later for wed-fri... earlier on mon n tue... realised tt i'll fall asleep whenever i come home early after sch or juz usual time... instead of doing e work i wanted to... no matter how much i want to, i cant really resist e lures of morpheus' realm. humph. can only blame myself for not being strong enuff, willpower n all. but sleep is really such an enjoyable thing... anyway... sleepy now... from doing nthg all day... sheesh... nitez.... Nyx watch over us all~
Sunday, July 30, 2006
29 July 2006-1st NJC invitational ~end~
our 4 months of preparation have finally amounted to this very day... praying and hoping for the weather to be fine, it was slightly disheartening when it poured around 2pm... juz when there was 2 last ends left to the 2nd round. but thankfully it stopped ard 3pm, e whole comp need not b cancelled, n all our hard work didn't go 2 waste after all. e prize presentation ended ard 8pm... when all e participants hav finally left, it was 9pm when we too left sch grounds. from 630am until 9pm. dinner at some place called 5 stars as recommended by jia pei... 10 pm half of us left, me inclusive... for a well-deserved rest at home... esp wendy, d.o.s. n o.i.c. ... out of which wendy n fred got drenched in e rain in e afternoon... tsk. wendy'll fall sick again at this rate.
due to e fact tt we had 3 details to accommodate the 190+ participants...we were behind time by lyk 1hr b4 e rain... e rain juz made it worse... but it was a welcome break for the poor judges... who have been standing out in the hot sun the whole morning and early afternoon... the various i/cs esp the O.I.C. had their share of tension n frustration... i thank them for being as even-tempered as they had been. we couldn't hav done it w/o 'em... i really wish to thank e air guns ppl 4 being dere n helping as they did... sometimes being scolded even... thx... me... i had my own share of unhappiness but tt was v little compared to e whole affair. i'm glad i had e chance to organise this n watch it happen. to actually see all these archers from familiar institutions gather in nj for our comp, was really a wonderful feeling. seeing e field wif e target boards all lined up neatly, juz as wendy had mentioned... mr lee had this vision abt 7-8mths ago, n it was actually realised so soon.. i nv quite believed him when he said tt, but well, here's e proof for all 2 c. we've come this way n this is lyk our reward for working so hard.. it happened earlier than what many of us would hav expected, bringing us e various lessons n methods tt would serve 2 continue 2 help us make each invitational, a better one.
28 july was e set-up day, setting up e field was so v difficult, squaring e field n all, thankfully we had ppl lyk fangjian around... as expected things didn't go as smoothly as fred planned it 2 b during e setting up of e field n all, but well, everything was completed b4 night fell so tt's really great. hm didn't feel as if i did much, comp day, being tabulator.. was a v light job.. morn was really free n all... oh well, i knew i helped in other areas n i guess tt's wat matters. after e setting up of e field n everything.. n eating pizzas wif e rest of e snrs n some air guns ppl, trying 2 print out e protest forms n sponsors' logos b4 gg home... 830pm was e time when we finally left sch. muz say, @ least e guyz were gentlemanly enuff 2 leave abt 6 slices of pizzas for sam n i... but haha, we can't eat tt much so yah. fun juz wandering ard sch after dark, gg 2 e staffroom.. gg 2 e canteen 4 e non-existent wireless system 2 work... haha. really cool 2 c e field slowly shape into e archery field tt we all hav seen b4, in our minds, in other comp venues, juz not in nj. we even had m'sian participants.. international haha.
e 2nd invitational is apparently going 2 b next jan/feb period... so they've got 2 start planning now... all e best jnrs... e prob now will b who'll take charge, n not choosing which capable one 2 organise it out of those ard... hm.. phrase it better would b 2 say there isn't any1 decisive enough to b e 1 in charge of all these... not something i can help wif anyway. oh well. now's e time 2 really focus on prelims... muz muz muz pass n score so much better than i did in CT2s... no regrets is wat i shall strive 2 achieve... n ms kao's goals for my various subj... shall try my best... try.
due to e fact tt we had 3 details to accommodate the 190+ participants...we were behind time by lyk 1hr b4 e rain... e rain juz made it worse... but it was a welcome break for the poor judges... who have been standing out in the hot sun the whole morning and early afternoon... the various i/cs esp the O.I.C. had their share of tension n frustration... i thank them for being as even-tempered as they had been. we couldn't hav done it w/o 'em... i really wish to thank e air guns ppl 4 being dere n helping as they did... sometimes being scolded even... thx... me... i had my own share of unhappiness but tt was v little compared to e whole affair. i'm glad i had e chance to organise this n watch it happen. to actually see all these archers from familiar institutions gather in nj for our comp, was really a wonderful feeling. seeing e field wif e target boards all lined up neatly, juz as wendy had mentioned... mr lee had this vision abt 7-8mths ago, n it was actually realised so soon.. i nv quite believed him when he said tt, but well, here's e proof for all 2 c. we've come this way n this is lyk our reward for working so hard.. it happened earlier than what many of us would hav expected, bringing us e various lessons n methods tt would serve 2 continue 2 help us make each invitational, a better one.
28 july was e set-up day, setting up e field was so v difficult, squaring e field n all, thankfully we had ppl lyk fangjian around... as expected things didn't go as smoothly as fred planned it 2 b during e setting up of e field n all, but well, everything was completed b4 night fell so tt's really great. hm didn't feel as if i did much, comp day, being tabulator.. was a v light job.. morn was really free n all... oh well, i knew i helped in other areas n i guess tt's wat matters. after e setting up of e field n everything.. n eating pizzas wif e rest of e snrs n some air guns ppl, trying 2 print out e protest forms n sponsors' logos b4 gg home... 830pm was e time when we finally left sch. muz say, @ least e guyz were gentlemanly enuff 2 leave abt 6 slices of pizzas for sam n i... but haha, we can't eat tt much so yah. fun juz wandering ard sch after dark, gg 2 e staffroom.. gg 2 e canteen 4 e non-existent wireless system 2 work... haha. really cool 2 c e field slowly shape into e archery field tt we all hav seen b4, in our minds, in other comp venues, juz not in nj. we even had m'sian participants.. international haha.
e 2nd invitational is apparently going 2 b next jan/feb period... so they've got 2 start planning now... all e best jnrs... e prob now will b who'll take charge, n not choosing which capable one 2 organise it out of those ard... hm.. phrase it better would b 2 say there isn't any1 decisive enough to b e 1 in charge of all these... not something i can help wif anyway. oh well. now's e time 2 really focus on prelims... muz muz muz pass n score so much better than i did in CT2s... no regrets is wat i shall strive 2 achieve... n ms kao's goals for my various subj... shall try my best... try.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
end of season debrief
hm mr lee juz gave us an end of season debrief today. 19 july 2006. same day as last yr, sat at e atrium, juz lyk last yr. juz tt there's more ppl now, n e ppl dere r no longer e same as last yr.don't quite rmber much abt last yr's debrief, juz rmbered tt it was half praise half lecture lyk this yr's. but a friend reminded me tt e capts asked 2 speak last yr... n how they were so emotional tt they were crying.. i forgot abt tt... but it would hav been fun if e capts this yr also spoke.. it would b interesting 2 noe wat they've got 2 say abt this club, abt their team.
Well basically, mr lee brought up a v gd point during e debrief 2dae.abt e archers side 1st, he said tt e jnrs, their acceptance of mediocrity juz totally saddens us all. esp e snrs. he said tt, e j2s put a lot of effort into building this team, put in all our heart n blood n tears(i kinda esp agree wif e tears part..). tt e jnrs don't noe e half of wat we've done 4 this club n they juz accept being average, not aiming 4 higher, not trying 2 reach e stars.tt we've trained so hard, our grades suffer, but still, trained 4-5 times a wk, (during e hols), n tt's how we got 2 this position at this point in time. he said, i believe that when e snrs saw their jnrs this yr, they were juz bleeding inside, juz crying inside... he's right.tt's true.4 me, 4 many of us. when i see this group of jnrs.. who didn't realise tt all we worked for last yr was to make their lives easier this yr... they accept their low scores n even compare who's lower. do u understand e pain we feel inside? e tears tt we shed, whether in our hearts or openly... is proof of how much we feel for this club.yes we were bleeding inside when we saw our jnrs this yr.can't really rmber wat he said alr but it's v true, wish i could write his speech down here... i was juz so sad for us, for our team,... when he said all tt.n i guess on my part as a snr, i didn't really try 2 do anything 2 change their mentality n i'm sad abt this role of mine too... i only observed, as mr lee said of himself... n couldn't do anything. but in my case, i can do smthg... n i guess i'll at least change my attitude 2 this matter now.
mr lee was also talking abt shooters, how some may not win, have not won, but they still continue to fight, that they may hav faced so many setbacks but yet they still continue struggling on. tt's e spirit tt each n every1 of us hav 2 learn i feel.
he was also talking abt wat a cca is abt. it's abt e friends u meet, e character u build from the things u learn, esp being able 2 stay n continue 2 strive 2 improve no matter wat happens, n not quit, n not give up.tt's v true, somehow, i managed 2 stay, even though i was on e verge of quitting many times, somehow i managed 2 pull thru, n i really learnt n grew up from this experience. at e v least, i'm proud tt i nv gave up.
oh... i was also thinking... this yr,... whenever e team talk abt having a 2nd invitational next yr.. abt how stuff other than e invitational will b better next yr... i juz always feel tt, will dere really b a next yr? i dunno whether e others think e same way, but this is how i feel.i'm v worried abt a next yr, whether archery will still b a cca in njc next yr. even though verbally i speak of a next yr n how things can b done better next yr... but i feel deep inside me... wondering... if there's really gonna b a next yr... sigh. this is e depth of disappointment i hav in e jnrs i think. abt how i dun believe tt this club will still b around next yr... n tt it will fall apart in their hands. abt how sad tt we reached our peak in 2 yrs n now it's e downhill part alr...i dunno anymore. i can only wish for e best here.. for them.. for the club.. n hope tt our hearts wouldn't hav 2 bleed anymore..
Well basically, mr lee brought up a v gd point during e debrief 2dae.abt e archers side 1st, he said tt e jnrs, their acceptance of mediocrity juz totally saddens us all. esp e snrs. he said tt, e j2s put a lot of effort into building this team, put in all our heart n blood n tears(i kinda esp agree wif e tears part..). tt e jnrs don't noe e half of wat we've done 4 this club n they juz accept being average, not aiming 4 higher, not trying 2 reach e stars.tt we've trained so hard, our grades suffer, but still, trained 4-5 times a wk, (during e hols), n tt's how we got 2 this position at this point in time. he said, i believe that when e snrs saw their jnrs this yr, they were juz bleeding inside, juz crying inside... he's right.tt's true.4 me, 4 many of us. when i see this group of jnrs.. who didn't realise tt all we worked for last yr was to make their lives easier this yr... they accept their low scores n even compare who's lower. do u understand e pain we feel inside? e tears tt we shed, whether in our hearts or openly... is proof of how much we feel for this club.yes we were bleeding inside when we saw our jnrs this yr.can't really rmber wat he said alr but it's v true, wish i could write his speech down here... i was juz so sad for us, for our team,... when he said all tt.n i guess on my part as a snr, i didn't really try 2 do anything 2 change their mentality n i'm sad abt this role of mine too... i only observed, as mr lee said of himself... n couldn't do anything. but in my case, i can do smthg... n i guess i'll at least change my attitude 2 this matter now.
mr lee was also talking abt shooters, how some may not win, have not won, but they still continue to fight, that they may hav faced so many setbacks but yet they still continue struggling on. tt's e spirit tt each n every1 of us hav 2 learn i feel.
he was also talking abt wat a cca is abt. it's abt e friends u meet, e character u build from the things u learn, esp being able 2 stay n continue 2 strive 2 improve no matter wat happens, n not quit, n not give up.tt's v true, somehow, i managed 2 stay, even though i was on e verge of quitting many times, somehow i managed 2 pull thru, n i really learnt n grew up from this experience. at e v least, i'm proud tt i nv gave up.
oh... i was also thinking... this yr,... whenever e team talk abt having a 2nd invitational next yr.. abt how stuff other than e invitational will b better next yr... i juz always feel tt, will dere really b a next yr? i dunno whether e others think e same way, but this is how i feel.i'm v worried abt a next yr, whether archery will still b a cca in njc next yr. even though verbally i speak of a next yr n how things can b done better next yr... but i feel deep inside me... wondering... if there's really gonna b a next yr... sigh. this is e depth of disappointment i hav in e jnrs i think. abt how i dun believe tt this club will still b around next yr... n tt it will fall apart in their hands. abt how sad tt we reached our peak in 2 yrs n now it's e downhill part alr...i dunno anymore. i can only wish for e best here.. for them.. for the club.. n hope tt our hearts wouldn't hav 2 bleed anymore..
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
i'm trying...
i'm trying so hard but i can't seem 2 get thru. i'm trying. i'm pushing for it. i can feel e pain in tt position. i hav been thru stuff too.juz try... is tt v difficult? put ur foot down. do it, set a dateline, meet it. lol it's been a long hour.
sometimes i'm really glad tt i'm myself n no1 else n tt i'm living my life, my way. i love this life of mine.
things seem 2 b in a better state now as compared to 1/2hr ago. let's hope things will work out. life isn't perfect. so sad. bleah. wanted 2 write of more stuff. other less depressing stuff. more inspirational stuff. do tt another time bah. got maths 2 do if not - will blow his top even more... lol.
i yearn to get rid of e notion tt ppl from my class is anything but e best. even if it's me thinking this way, i'm not gonna let anything stand in my way, i'm a rebel alright, n i'm gonna show it finally.i hate being threatened or controlled in any way. i'm gonna do things my way. i'm not gonna let e weakness of s15 overshadow it's strength. i'm gonna prove 2 those out dere tt we're gd alright, so watch out! :)
Was kindly reminded of smthg i wrote down by a friend juz when i let my guard down n was abt 2 let suspicion n fear into my heart: 'wat's life without all it's challenges?' i'm competitive n hate losing, so now's e time 2 win myself, 2 beat myself n stand up stronger than b4.
heard abt jo n amelia studying in australia. university of melbourne. top 10 Us. Law n Medicine n i still haven't found my path in life yet. crap, juz wish i'll hurry up. hopefully mebbe i'm a late bloomer... who will b able 2 do things as they come. dunno wat i talking abt alr. lol... sleepy...
sometimes i'm really glad tt i'm myself n no1 else n tt i'm living my life, my way. i love this life of mine.
things seem 2 b in a better state now as compared to 1/2hr ago. let's hope things will work out. life isn't perfect. so sad. bleah. wanted 2 write of more stuff. other less depressing stuff. more inspirational stuff. do tt another time bah. got maths 2 do if not - will blow his top even more... lol.
i yearn to get rid of e notion tt ppl from my class is anything but e best. even if it's me thinking this way, i'm not gonna let anything stand in my way, i'm a rebel alright, n i'm gonna show it finally.i hate being threatened or controlled in any way. i'm gonna do things my way. i'm not gonna let e weakness of s15 overshadow it's strength. i'm gonna prove 2 those out dere tt we're gd alright, so watch out! :)
Was kindly reminded of smthg i wrote down by a friend juz when i let my guard down n was abt 2 let suspicion n fear into my heart: 'wat's life without all it's challenges?' i'm competitive n hate losing, so now's e time 2 win myself, 2 beat myself n stand up stronger than b4.
heard abt jo n amelia studying in australia. university of melbourne. top 10 Us. Law n Medicine n i still haven't found my path in life yet. crap, juz wish i'll hurry up. hopefully mebbe i'm a late bloomer... who will b able 2 do things as they come. dunno wat i talking abt alr. lol... sleepy...
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