Tuesday, April 17, 2007

wat's wrong wif me todae...

haiz suddenly feeling v down. lyk wat's wrong wif me todae? perhaps coz of todae's events.. everything finally sinking in or smthg... the full impact of wat i did. hmmm todae wore blue top plus white skirt. n during lunch it got dirtied!! by sweet n sour sauce. i didnt lyk e sauce 2 begin wif but i guess it's juz fate tt i decided 2 let e auntie put it into my fd todae... n it got spilt on my clothes!Damn. Hurriedly ate finish n immediately headed 2 e toilet 2 clean up as much as i could. Thankfully by e time i'm done, e stain wasnt easily visible..i'm so gonna b more careful wif fd if i'm gonna wear light-coloured clothes again.. was alr being extra cautious todae... mebbe coz too cautious.. n made it worse. HAIZ. dunno dun wanna care.

Then coz i was acting stupid n got teased abt a so-called eye candy whom i only saw once... a glimpse... puh-leeze. My fault for acting lyk a pure bimbo n a brainless fool. Then tried 2 sa jiao 2 my relative 2 get him 2 buy donuts 4 me... lol, i am an idiot. Didnt get my way n got talked 2 in a condescending tone. Dont PatroNise Me!! Urgh. Hateful. Talking abt me who's hateful. Lyk wat's wrong wif me todae. Idiot, fool, twit, bimbo, pig, Argh.

Yesterdae went 2 e temp chinatown market (hawker centre) 2 hav dinner coz of a colleague's bdae... fd was ok. Then we went esplanade mall for chocolate drink... as in the whole place specialise in chocolate drinks... interesting concept, drink was ok, juz tasted lyk normal hot chocolate. Shall try something more special dere next time. But gg esplanade made me feel nostalgic? Dunno, hateful feeling. Lyk y am i forcing myself 2 rmber memories which will only make me sad now.. juz coz i feel it's expected of myself 2 feel down, 2 rmber stuff lyk all those drama serial ppl??! I'm crazed. I am a twit. Idiot. Crap. I'm stupid. I'm stronger than this. I know I am and I'm not a fool 2 begin wif, why start now? I think i shall go study 2 occupy my mind or smthg. Honestly, muz b coz i got nthg 2 keep my mind busy wif. Wish i could turn time back... these few daes keep wishing i could press Ctl+Z... Undo... but realised tt this is reality, i cant change wat i juz did, i cant undo wat i juz did... n i'll juz hav 2 do everything e hard way. There's only one chance in all that we do, now i really feel it. Really. Ah regrets.

Anyway, i was thinking, y am i even forcing myself 2 hav an eye candy in e first place? this stinks.. juz coz friends ask if dere's any shuai guyz ard i muz go purposely find? Am i stupid or wat. Dun care, i dun wan any eye candies in e first place n i sure dun wan any now. Haiz. juz let me turn back time 2 JC or sec sch.. anything but this horrible period of time i'm experiencing.

Ok, Enough, time 2 b more optimistic n forget all tt juz happened. Let time cause all these 2 fade.. fade away to nothingness.... it'll b for e best.

Recent msn nick: appearances r deceiving, ppl r not wat they appear 2 b, 2 dream a fairytale romance, 2 dream a fairytale, cease dont juz dont, dont patronise me!

No comments: