meaningful words (song lyrics)

Heh another meaningful song lyrics which actually made me feel better while taking hours doing my thermo tut from dunno how many wks ago... yup.. haha guess e song title?

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned
Leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

hmm think i shall take e time 2 blog abt my idle thoughts one day :) abt how my life so far has been pretty alright, i'm grateful for everything and really appreciate everyone ard me though i may not show it all e time :p ok back 2 tut n studying 4 now! yah muz treasure each day n use it well.

Get to know yourself better personality test

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

This quiz is totally fun!!! i wished it had more questions... ahhh so nice!
The link is here:
http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx
But eh some parts r quite true, and some are exactly like huiwen's and deb's! Especially the true self one! Wah cant believe we 3 got e same 'true self' :p hehe soooo fun!!!!

Recent msn nick:
i must believe.. i must work harder...
with the strength of an angel

dere goes my astronomy this holiday :(

nooooo.... how could this be??? special sem 2 subj available are SOOOOO limited! N e worse thing is that dere's NO ASTRONOMY in special sem 2!!! ARGH.... it's only offered in special sem 1!!! WHY WHY??? WHY MUZ EID BE DURING SPECIAL SEM 1??? noooooooo....

latest obsessions: songs

"Tongue Tied"

Bright cold silver moon
Tonight alone in my room
You were here just yesterday
Slight turn of the head
Eyes down when you said
I guess I need my life to change
Seems like something's just aren't the same
What could I say?

I need a little more luck than a little bit
Cuz every time I get stuck the words won't fit
And every time that I try I get tongue tied
I'll need a little good luck to get me by
I need a little more help than a little bit
Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet
Cuz every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by this time

I stare up at the stars
I wonder just where you are
You feel a million miles away
(I wonder just where you are)

Was it something I said?
Or something I never did?
Or was I always in the way?
Could someone tell me what to say to just make you stay?

I need a little more luck than a little bit
Cuz every time I get stuck the words won't fit
And every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by
I need a little more help than a little bit
Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet
Cuz every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by this time

I know it feels like the end
Don't want to be here again
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again

What it takes I don't care
We're gonna make it I swear
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again
Again

I need a little more luck than a little bit
Cuz every time I get stuck the words won't fit
But every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by
I need a little more help than a little bit
Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet
Cuz every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by this time

I know it feels like the end
Don't want to be here again
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again

What it takes I don't care
We're gonna make it I swear
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again

-Faber Drive

heh juz really obsessed with this song and 'Thinking of You' by Katy Perry these few days... i think what i like abt these two songs is their melody, their tune is just oh so unique that i cant help but get mesmerised :p

here's 'Thinking of You'
Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one
I still got the seed

You said move on
Where do I go
I guess second best
Is all I will know

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes

You're like an Indian summer
In the middle of winter
Like a hard candy
With a surprise center
How do I get better
Once I've had the best
You said there's
Tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test

He kissed my lips
I taste your mouth
He pulled me in
I was disgusted with myself

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into...

You're the best
And yes I do regret
How I could let myself
Let you go
Now the lesson's learned
I touched and I was burned
Oh I think you should know

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes

Oh won't you walk through
And bust in the door
And take me away
Oh no more mistakes
Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay...

Hmm the lyrics are pretty meaningful and interesting for both songs... yes indeed, it's hard to settle for the second best when you've alr had a taste of the best :p i hope i don't have to settle for second best in this lifetime :)

NTU Institutional 2009

It's been duper long since i last posted... nothing unusual there :p but yup so here i am using the time i'm supposed to be doing work to blog =x

Hmm the archery version of IVP just ended.. it was held over the wkend of 28 Feb - 1 Mar and to me, it was a major competition since my last competition half a year ago... and man was it nerve-wreaking and full of unexpected shocks and surprises i suppose...

This time I was even less mentally prepared than I expected myself to be... crap i really lack mental training =x someone start coaching me in my mental strength!

hmm let's say sat sighters started out well :) but eh my 1st round of 60m did not go well :s not quite sure why, seems lyk i didnt get my sighting on fri and couldnt find it on sat either =x haiz... but oh wells, i guess i still need more training at that distance though i'm highly tempted to head to 70m sooner or later O.o heh yah, tempted but not making my move... hmm for the rest of FITA 900, my 50m went superbly well and 40m was good too though not my personal best lyk how i did for 50m but it was still one of my best scores ever :)
Therefore i was ranked 6th place overall :D haha but i was quite a distance from no. 5, debra an ntu archer and no. 4 jorcelyn, another ntu archer... oh wells, but we're in e same team so it's great that our whole team made it into eh top 6? haha
e other gals did alright too though as usual we either flop at this dist or that :p we should really try to reduce that kind of thing... especially at major competitions such as these...

Ok Sunday. Big day. Individual Knockout (IKO) event in the morn plus Team Knockout (TKO) event in the afternoon...
argh got knocked out in the first round for IKO coz i lost due to the other archer (NUS' Linette)'s skill (that i acknowledge) and my lack of mental trng...
i made a mistake i nv made before, shooting 3 arrows when i'm supposed to shoot 6. what a stupid mistake to make but yah i made it, juz lyk my other two team-mates at the lane beside me... we did shoot finish the last arrow (more or less) .. finished during last eh 1 min or less... i can shoot fast that i know, i had the whole team (more or less) cheering for me with my ex-capt on the line trying to reassure me... but 1 min is not enough for me to gain back my composure. I almost cried on the line... Wendy saw it... and well i hope e ntu side didnt see it.. i was wearing shades after all... i guess i'm still not that willing to show my weakness to them that easily.

Linette was lyk trying to get me to cheer up as we went to collect my arrows but i wasnt happy with myself (and not with her, hope she didnt feel that way :s) so yah... back to my moody self.
Though surprisingly i shot quite well for the last 3 arrows... haha overall my shots were all in the red which was not enough to win Linette who was a yellow-average, haha she's good this time, but next time I wouldnt lose so easily :p

hmm was some dispute between debra ntu archer on my team and another NUS archer when they were shooting their IKO bronze medal match :s ouch alright... i wasnt dere to witness it but both sides insisted that the other cheated... and with my good friends Fred n Wendy on the other team i was torn between the two... coz i juz happened 2 ask Fred abt it when i was wif him at the noticeboard then... so coincidentally (unfortunately) that debra had to walk past n hear wat he was saying... argh when u're being suspected of cheating, you wouldnt juz keep quiet n walk away rite?? so she had 2 defend herself n wat resulted was an almost argument... Fred with that annoying tone of his but not paying her direct attention while she was close to tears, hurt that her integrity was being questioned. And dere i was in the middle of it all getting them both to just STOP IT.
Honestly. i was feeling so bad and when i realised that i couldnt find any1 in ntu archery to talk to... i hesitantly approached the nus tentage hoping to get someone to understand me.. that someone being wendy... She was dere for me, trying to talk it out with me while i openly cried, not caring who saw or watever. I think Fred saw, well he should since he's partly the cause of it. i was just bleeding inside as i was being torn apart by those two... they couldnt consider my feelings when they were doing that did they?? hateful. I didnt noe who to believe, one was my ex-guys team vcapt and the other my current team-mate who was gg 2 shoot team event with me later on, how was i suppose to get back my nonchalence to shoot with her? Of coz Wendy was on her archers' side and well she said to just drop the issue, that was the original decision made on their side and she told me not to worry about it, coz one black sheep isnt gg to ruin their impression of the whole team. I guess it hurt partly coz all the while i was trying to promote friendship between the two clubs and This! this issue just had to come up and ruin it all. what was i supposed to do when faced with this kinda thing?

Guess the morning had alr affected my mood and hence i couldnt take it after trying to be the mediator between the two. I just had to let it all out. And i was hoping that I would be the one giving support all the time during the competition and not the one needing them :s

well yeah. that totally didnt help in my mental preparedness for the team event later on. I was lyk a fragile little bird haha just accept the description lar. Thanks to my oh-so-gorgeous shades no one could see my puffy eyes! haha! yay! yeah lyk that's smthg worth cheering over...

anyway yeah... team event only had to shoot against two teams, NUS and TP... it was ok, i'm glad that i did contribute, though only 1 or 2 shots at the end =x thankfully my team-mates were good... so we got the Gold medal. It was actually alright. Glad that meecheng was the one checking our arrows' positions :) she's good at raising our spirits coz she's so high when we hit yellow on the hit-miss target :p btw the NUS team that i had to shoot against was Wendy's team :s ouch... i barely looked over because I never wanted to shoot against any of my NJ team-mates in the first place.. but everytime i looked she was there giving me a smile and a thumbs-up. I even saw her bf that day though i didnt realise until i finished my round with her... n yup he sure looks good, haha good for Wendy then :)
hmm guess i was a bit disappointed that i couldnt watch the guys shoot as they were shooting at the same time as us... it would have been fun... it's always fun watching your team-mates shoot against others... and they got Gold too...

I was just thinking of how my current team noes how attached i am to my NJ team and this is kind of similar to the situation back then when my NJ team knew how attached i was to my 1st 3 mths hc class... oh wells, wonder if they ever realised that though i may long for my previous team/class, i am in actual fact even more grateful for my current team :) though my current team loves suan-ing ppl loads which isnt exactly fun =x oh wells, no one's perfect...

songs lyrics that i like

Hmm juz realised that my previous post was my 100th post!!! haha i used my hp to post that so i didnt realise it til now, i'm quite amazed that i managed to post so much, especially since i took so long to reach 100, i'm someone who when in the mood for writing, will write a lot so yah, guess i've juz been too bz or too lazy to blog in the 4 years this blog has been ard... this is the 5th year! my gosh how fast time flies when you look at things lyk that, i've lived for two decades already... O.o that's lyk a lot... haha

anyway workload's horrendous right now, with me just stealing a bit of time from doing tutorials to do this.. coz i was just listening to this song of which i found one really nice line inside, or at least to me it's nice so i just wanted to post it here, it's:

You know i'm hoping you'll sing along, though it's not your favourite song :)

haha i wonder if my few regulars to my blog will recognise where this came from. i blog nowadays coz i hav at least these few regulars ard to tell me that i'm not talking to the wall when i blog here :p heh so a big THANK YOU to deb, huiwen and lance. The only other person that i know visited my blog recently was weide and i'm real grateful to all of you. Haha i guess i don't mind the small number coz what i post here aint really something i want sooo many people to know, or at least people who don't know me well, though i know when you blog, everything's public but well, this is just how i feel yup. :)

Chalet time!

Hmm my dec has been pretty much packed wif activities,from chalets to gatherings when i'm not trng,dere's been two chalets i've been to,one for my cousin's 14th bdae n e other juz another family chalet which was seriously e nicest chalet i've been to,ever.e pic above is of tt place:)e place was renovated juz 6mths ago so it's really new n nice!
Anyway since then,i've had e chance 2 meet up wif my hc classmates,my mg friends,my nj archers,went 2 sentosa twice n had an archery camp.actually now i'm on my way 2 meet some of my nj classmates 4 dinner,hope it'll b enjoyable:pbasically my days r quite packed wif working out too,ok nowadays not tt much coz of all those gatherings but i really need 2 bcome fitter!Haha anyway yup lots of stuff filling my day n on a sidenote i was really happy on my bdae,really had fun n had e sweetest guy by my side tt nite,i couldnt hav asked 4 anything better:)perhaps coz of this i wonder if it's too gd 2 b true n whether anything bad will happen soon 2 ruin all these,well let's hope not coz i really wan 2 enjoy e v last of 2008:)

My early bdae cake

This was given 2 me by e gals from my hc class,i cant believe they rmbered n well as usual i didnt notice anything..Haha i can b so silly:pwe had steamboat dinner at vivo n it was juz great seeing all of 'em again after ard 1.5yrs:)we only left at abt 1030pm yup..n well we took photos n talked a lot(mostly abt our r/s status:p n little updates on our lives)i'm lyk seriously outdated when it comes 2 these ppl's lives,i guess i thought all these belong 2 a past me but perhaps not,they're still such sweet friends after so long n i c various degree of maturity in them n it struck me tt we've all grown a bit in our own ways during these few yrs n well it makes me feel a bit nostalgic 4 my nj archery team,not sure y but i really kinda miss everyone,esp when i recall fred's confidence in realising wat we wan,juz lyk tt 1st invitational tt actually happened quite a while ago yup.Haha muz b coz of e combined trng session we're having wif nus tmr:)hope everything goes well but well if it doesnt at least i'll make e most out of it,over dere's my precious wendy n fred n i hope they'll b dere so tt we can catch up a bit yup coz now i really miss these ppl loads!
heh anyway abt ytd i juz found out so many things lyk how qt's attached,(i hope it's 2 some1 nice coz she's too much of a gem 2 b wasted on a normal guy:p) n how mh's a facebk stalker(she even noes how lance looks lyk!)..stuff lyk tt,so i've 2 b careful abt wat i put up on e net in general,heh seems so interesting all these things n though i was reluctant 2 meet up wif 'em previously coz of laziness i'm glad i did coz i realised tt i still hav friends dere:)

regret in a way, a small dose of pain n unhappiness

sometimes it seems that i lyk picking fights... even if i do so unintentionally... lyk it's so fun creating a tense n awkward atmosphere when it used to be one of warmth. wat's wrong with me i keep asking myself. N i guess e only ans i hav at this point in time is juz for some understanding by the other party.. but then when i make things so unhappy for seemingly no reason, then i'll start 2 regret it and realise that i didnt put myself in the other person's shoes..

wat an unruly person i can be.

Our Song by Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift - Our Song lyrics

I was riding shotgun with my hair undone in the front seat of his car
He's got a one-hand feel on the steering wheel
The other on my heart
I look around, turn the radio down
He says baby is something wrong?
I say "nothing, I was just thinking how we don't have a song"
And he said...

"Our song is a slamming screen door,
Sneakin' out late, tapping on your window
When we're on the phone and you talk real slow
Cause it's late and your mama don't know
Our song is the way you laugh
The first date "man, I didn't kiss her, when I should have"
And when I got home... fore' I said amen
Asking God if He could play it again"

I was walking up the front porch steps after everything that day
Had gone all wrong 'n' been trampled on
And lost and thrown away
Got to the hallway, well on my way to my lovin' bed
I almost didn't notice all the roses
And the note that said...

Our song is a slamming screen door,
Sneakin' out late, tapping on your window
When we're on the phone and you talk real slow
Cause it's late and your mama don't know
Our song is the way you laugh
The first date "man, I didn't kiss her, when I should have"
And when I got home... fore' I said amen
Asking God if He could play it again

I've heard every album, listened to the radio
Waiting for something to come along
That was as good as our song...

Cause our song is a slamming screen door
Sneaking out late, tapping on his window
When we're on the phone and he talks real slow
Cause it's late and his mama don't know
Our song is the way he laughs
The first date "man, I didn't kiss him, when I should have"
And when I got home, fore' I said amen
Asking God if He could play it again
Play it again... Oh Yeah

I was riding shotgun with my hair undone
In the front seat of his car
I grabbed a pen and an old napkin
And I wrote down our song

*******************************************************************

Well since i was putting up lyrics to the other two songs and this is another fav song of mine that's sung by Taylor

so therefore i decided to just put this up too :) i really do like this song loads mebbe coz it makes me feel so

nice inside haha coz well the scenarios described in this song just seems so typical and wat everyone can relate

to that it's just a wonderful song reflecting the various memories a couple may share :) i really do like Love Story

and Our Song loads :D

Check Yes Juliet by We the Kings

We The Kings - Check Yes Juliet lyrics

Check yes Juliet
Are you with me?
Rain is falling down on the sidewalk
I won't go until you come outside.

Check yes Juliet
Kill the limbo
I'll keep tossing rocks at your window
There's no turning back for us tonight.

Lace up your shoes
Eh Oh Eh Ohhh
Here's how we do:

Run, baby, run
Don't ever look back.
They'll tear us apart
If you give them the chance.
Don't sell your heart.
Don't say we're not meant to be.
Run, baby, run.
Forever will be
You and me.

Check yes Juliet
I'll be waiting
Wishing, wanting
Yours for the taking.
Just sneak out
And don't tell a soul goodbye.
Check yes Juliet
Here's the countdown
3... 2... 1... now fall in my arms now
They can change the locks
Don't let them change your mind

Lace up your shoes
Eh Oh Eh Ohhh
Here's how we do

Run, baby, run
Don't ever look back
They'll tear us apart
If you give them the chance
Don't sell your heart
Don't say we're not meant to be
Run baby run
Forever will be
You and me

We're flying through the night
We're flying through the night
Way up high,
The view from here is getting better with
You by my side

Run baby run
Don't ever look back
They'll tear us apart
If you give them the chance
Don't sell your heart
Don't say we're not meant to be
Run baby run
Forever will be...

Run baby run
Don't ever look back
They'll tear us apart
If you give them the chance
Don't sell your heart
Don't say we're not meant to be
Run baby run
Forever will be
You and me
You and me
You and me

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

haha my point in putting this up is that this is yet another recent song about Romeo and Juliet's 

story just that this is from Romeo's point of view ;) heh Taylor's version was from Juliet's point

of view so it's kinda lyk Love Story is a response to this song.. it jus seems totally cool so I thought

this ought to go up on my blog too :)

Love Story by Taylor Swift

Love Story by Taylor Swift

We were both young when I first saw you
I closed my eyes and the flashback starts
I'm standing there
On a balcony in summer air

See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns
I see you make your way through the crowd
And say hello
Little did I know

That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles
And my daddy said, "stay away from Juliet"
And I was crying on the staircase
Begging you, please don't go
And I said

Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story
Baby, just say yes

So, I sneak out to the garden to see you
We keep quiet cause we're dead if they knew
So close your eyes
Escape this town for a little while

Oh oh
Cause you were Romeo, I was the scarlet letter
And my daddy said, "stay away from Juliet"
But you were my everything to me
I was begging you, please don't go
And I said

Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story
Baby, just say yes

Romeo, save me
They try to tell me how I feel
This love is difficult, but it's real
Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess
It's a love story
Baby, just say yes

Oh oh

I got tired of waiting
Wondering if you were ever coming around
My faith in you is fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town
And I said

Romeo, save me
I've been feeling so alone
I keep waiting for you, but you never come
Is this in my head
I don't know what to think
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring
And said

Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone
I love you and that's all I really know
I talked to your dad
Go pick out a white dress
It's a love story
Baby, just say yes

Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh

'Cause we were both young when I first saw you




-----------*----------*------------*---------*------------*-----------*----------*----------

This is the number one song on my fav list right now heh.
It's about the love story that everyone knows about, or rather pretty much everyone in the literature world; yup it's Romeo & Juliet's story just that i prefer Taylor's version of the ending which is just absolutely sweet and touching despite it being just a song and all.
While i was searching for these lyrics online i found that ppl hav posted comments that especially the last part of this song made them a bit teary (or a lot heh ;) ) Well i have to agree with them on this, while i was listening to this song for the first few times trying 2 catch the lyrics and it was then that i realised what Taylor was singing and well it really made my eyes fill with tears because it's the perfect ending that pretty much every girl in this world would wish for: a perfect ending where her prince charming would sweep her off her feet and all obstacles in their path would crumble away and well, just live happily ever after. :)

haha it's those times when you hear a song for a first time, trying to focus and catch wat the song is about which is quite a fun thing to do at times :) of coz tt's preferably when you've a lot of free time which at present i don't coz well actually i'm having my math paper tmr and to be honest i'm not that confident at all but here i am (wasting time :s ) blogging abt this absolutely fabulous song that has got me hooked :) . Aww the perfect love story is wat everyone envisions themselves in but is well, a fairytale, not reality coz well it's not possible to have such a flawless relationship as kinks have to be worked out and jigsaw pieces modified to fit together n stuff .. haha sounds so weird and abstract..

hmm seems lyk i typed too much, argh must not waste precious time that i still need 2 make myself more confident before tmr's paper... but i still hav loads 2 say! One of them is that i think Taylor looks absolutely gorgeous in her music video! I so love her gown (the one she's wearing while singing).. oh it just stimulates my creativity in designing clothes that i lyk again heh ;) haha nvm, perhaps another time....

recent msn nicks:
.:Non est ad astra mollis e terris via :.
so true i don't know what to say anymore.. BAD DAY..
njc archery closing :'( it's time 4 battle

a lot of things 2 write!

basically i wanted 2 blog abt a lot of things (as seen below)

sometimes life brings a lot of surprises...

• (potential) closure of njc archery


• if i were a guy...


• my first thoughts about life in NTU and the startling differences observed


• matlab & MOM quiz


• e-learning wk's over... n exams r coming...

but somehow i couldnt find e time :S even now i'm juz stealing time from doing fluids tut :S argh some1 save me... or give me more time in a day... ehh mebbe not, i'll prob juz slp those extra hrs away...
anyway watch hsm2 again todae on ch 5 n well, i would say it's inspirational 2 me hahaha.. or rather i shall try hard 2 get real fit n get a real gd figure ;) (hahaha bet this aint smthg u'll expect me 2 sae but... yah!) After e exams hahahaha n well in e meantime i gotta work hard on studies.. meaning i gotta keep my mood up in order 2 b able 2 study hard these coming weeks... juz b4 e exams.. oh how fast time passes.. but well, smthg 2 keep in mind, is well, 2 enjoy my uni days juz lyk those hsm ppl (though it's juz a movie n all) coz well, this is my one and only chance at uni at this age (of abt 19+) and this time definitely wouldnt come again,... soooo jiayou myself haha... or 2 quote from London from the suite life ( ;) aint i an absolute disney channel fan... i havent grown up yet hahhaa ): yay me!

ok tt sounds totally bimbotic O.o some1 i'm definitely not but well, no harm acting lyk one once in a while... it's a rare mood i'm in @ this moment i suspect.. which therefore explains my wackiness now haha... well back 2 fluids n life in well.. ntu... suffering lyk crazy but well, at this point in time, it's time 2 focus n not think too much abt that oh soo ominous cloud in the sky.

recent msn nicks: njc archery closing :'( it's time 4 battle

quizzes... n wants (rewards?)!

hmm i juz luv my blogskin now, it absolutely reflects how i feel... : I seriously need 2 go shopping 2 destress/hav fun or watever... haha ... well prob coz i juz had 2 quizzes todae, one went sorta ok though it could hav been better, e other went way way bad.. wat're u supposed 2 do when u can only stare at 3 physics qns for the whole period without having any urge to write anything down... :s feels exactly lyk how i felt when i was doing phy 1 & 2 end-of-sem papers.. :s disgusting... urgh dunno whether is i didnt study enuff or wat... i noe i prob didnt prac enuff but juz looking at the >8qns / tutorial is enuff 2 make any1 dread doing it again...

oh wells, it's over, i cant do anything abt it, shall juz move on then.... guess this means i gotta work harder 4 e exams... well who wouldnt...

n i really wan 2 go shopping this friday, was supposed 2 b todae but i decided tt trng is quite compulsory so shall stop missing e wkday ones... but dere's a 230pm makeup lect for MOM on fri... :s gg after tt wouldnt exactly b early anymore :s oh wells... guess i'll wait til then before i make my final decision... though i really still wan 2 go shopping, preferably wif not so many ppl ard.. got lots of things i've gotta n wanna buy.. lyk:

1. clothes! mainly in e form of tops, shorts n perhaps dresses
2. gg out sandals? - unconfirmed coz i juz bought a pair of rubber slippers from everlast tt looks pretty gd 2 wear outside
3. MUJI snacks! - yummy... muz restock n it's really salty haha, better than MAMEE i suppose coz it doesnt hav MSG i think heh...
4. Things 4 decorating a thing ;)
5. lip gloss? - haha juz 2 ensure my makeup kit is complete
6. markers & pens - basically i'm lacking colours in my stationery! i wan PINK hahaha
7. new spectacles? - i really hate wearing specs though... but my oh-so-sensitive eyes need 2 rest
8. Mp3 player cum radio for my dear (*) - urgently required heh though i suspect he wouldnt let me pay 4 it
9. watch? not 4 myself of coz but yup... juz one of those not sure items

hmm i've got quite a few things 2 do too... revision 4 exams r naturally at e top though all e tutorials seem endless such tt dere's no time 2 do anything else... argh gotta find time, gotta make time it seems.. oh well we all gotta try..!

keeping it in is hard so i let it out..

Sometimes it takes so much effort to keep myself from throwing tantrums that i juz have no more energy left for basic interactions with others.

Sorry dear for behaving sooo... hmm not gd today?

So now i wonder, issit better to juz flare up or keep it in... it's depressing keeping it in... but it's better for those ard me... hmm mebbe it juz requires practice n perhaps nxt time i'll still hav e energy 2 muster a weak smile to keep others from worrying too much. I'll also have to keep my independent level high despite my mood to make things easier for all when i'm in juz such a mood. When i'm too drained of energy, i shouldnt rely on others too much coz it's juz not right i think.. yup shall try not 2 repeat such incidents n if really hav 2, i shall learn 2 b a better person heh.

msn:
.:Non est ad astra mollis e terris via :.

keeping an open mind & doing my v best;
time to feel the breeze and walk the garden path of companionship =)

i've been an idiot enuff times rite..?time 2 stop...

Sometimes i can behave so irrationally.
But 2 b honest dere's always a reason y, even if it takes some time for me to figure out.

Right now i juz feel tired though i dunno y.. been tired since i woke up, issit coz i havent had enuff slp? but my slping hours didnt differ much... my body's also aching a bit, mainly the shoulders, back n arms... thx 2 ytd's trng i should think, but it's all my fault 4 taking such a long break from trng... esp wif pesta sukan juz this wkend.. i wonder how i'll perform eventually.. difficult 2 do well so i shant hav any expectations i suppose.. i really prefer not joining this particular competition even though it's 1 of e more impt comp... =x

Been behaving quite badly these few wks.. i was temperamental, mean, rude, evil... everything bad abt me juz showed itself recently... n i was trying 2 figure out y on e bus ride home after a particularly horrible appearance of one of my many imperfections... n i deduced tt i m juz..... stressed. Such a simple word yet it could cause so many problems..
why am i stressed? the sources are sch work, my hall room n my own inability to cope wif all tt's gg on. It takes a lot out of me juz 2 understand wat's gg on during my various subjects n plus the tutorials, it juz got to a point where i couldnt take it. Naturally it's also coz i've never been optimistic abt my performance wif regards to physics, esp for this semester. I've almost lost all hope i suppose... especially after every tutorial when i can't follow what the tutor is gg thru abt the various qns. This is juz so frustrating, so agonizing in a way...

I kinda wish i was back in secondary sch? when i was much better @ handling stress though definitely not perfectly, when grades werent as impt as doing my best and being satisfied wif that, when i've always worked hard 2 not let myself down...
Now i'm too reluctant to start working hard, 2 start on tutorials... for reasons tt include the difficulty level of the qns, the complexity of the theories & eqns involved. I no longer understand wat's doing my best so tt i will hav no regrets; n tt used 2 b wat i always told myself back in sec sch.. seems lyk studies got a lot tougher.. or i got a lot weaker... I'm no longer in full control of my actions my thoughts my grades so as 2 speak.. all bcoz of stress i suppose, n my increasingly pessimistic nature... i juz wan 2 do well, from now on but tt's lyk an impossible task 2 do.. I'm so tired.

I hate that i've become lyk this despite being older, i thought maturity comes wif age..? Guess i'm not old enuff.. though i hav e feeling tt i was acting more mature in a way back when i was much younger...

I used to be proud of my ability to control myself well, 2 b fully aware of wat's gg on, 2 noe how 2 improve myself in order 2 achieve that goal of being a perfect woman hahaha... somewhere along the way i went downhill apparently... will i ever start climbing up again i wonder...

was thinking of searching 4 a new blog skin coz was tired of this one alr... not tt i blog often but well, it's time 4 a change... but searching 4 a new blog skin takes time that i do not hav the luxury of spending... my tutorials and notes await...

I used 2 b satisfied wif my performance in all aspects of my life.. now's definitely different already... I don't lyk giving up n hav always believed in the phrase 'you can give out but u can't give up'... yet now i'm close to the brink of giving up... when did i reach this stage of desperation i wonder...

Perhaps a nap will help me re-align my ideas n goals... i realise i really do need a goal so tt i can c where i'm gg coz moving aimlessly gets me nowhere... but i really hav no idea wat's ahead wat road 2 take, the many bumps in e road i left behind were nv really forgotten... how to move on if i don't let go...

I wan to b a better person, it has always been a goal of mine yet i feel as if i'm failing miserably... perhaps it's time 2 give myself a lecture n some +ve self-talk 2 refresh myself n leave behind the old me.. i really wan 2 b a new person wif much better characteristics that i currently hav n i wan 2 correct all those flaws of mine and acquire gd points tt i lack n hav always wanted but failed to achieve...

perhaps this is why i hesitated during those few minutes tt happened some time ago yet r still fresh in my memory... those few minutes when a crucial qns was asked and an answer was required...i gave my ans after choosing not 2 deliberate too much instead n juz c where this will lead me... i kinda got the feeling now tt it is coz i noe exactly wat kind of person i m n i dunno whether it's wise 2 impose myself on another being when i noe perfectly well the repercussions and perhaps unhappiness tt i could cause.

I really hope that somehow i didnt make life difficult 4 others though i alr knew tt it was a possibility those many mths ago... Forgiveness isnt so wonderful when i don't learn 2 b a better person in e process... Apologies n regrets arent as impactful as ensuring tt my bad qualities r greatly reduced or even removed along the way...

haiz so tired is my position in life right now.

Pocoyo!

This was a photo of pocoyo tt i took when i was flipping channels randomly some time b4 sch started,i juz thought tt this little guy was juz too cute 2 resist;)heh anyway it's been million of yrs since i last blogged n i Guess tt's bcoz i was bz..also coz whenever i feel lyk blogging i'm not on my comp so it was juz troublesome..hmm naturally loads hav happened since then,some gd some not so but we all somehow find a way 2 get thru it n looking back juz makes us grateful tt we had company thru e difficult times n tt we could share e happier ones wif those ard us:)
hmm well i spent e first half of my hols trng 4 comp which should b considered fruitful though i didnt get any individual placing (again)but i'm glad i made it 2 e top 10places n could almost get e chance 2 fight it out wif 2 persons tied for 5th placing during nus indoor,well e key word here is almost:p
Then 4 e next half of e hols i slacked on trng 2 hopefully do well 4 accounting elective(which i didnt really so seems as though i wasted my time)but oh well tt's over so it's time 2 move on..
Yr 2 modules r really quite difficult,i'm definitely feeling e stress e pressure mainly from myself but tt's coz i wan 2 do well or at least better than where i m now but well,guess i gotta take things 1 step at a time n slowly work my way thru,think tt's e only way if i wanna survive thru these uni yrs of mine;)
Anyway archery comp is approaching fast n considering tt i havent been trng since i sprained my ankle e wk b4 sch started n my flu last wk,i think i'm way unprepared 4 it but despite it all i really cant give up,somehow i'm in 1 of e 2 teams sent n i hav 2 ensure tt i dun let myself flop coz dere r other ppl at stake here,all their hard work n trng n it's really unfair if we fail coz i havent been trng,i would feel so angry if i were them soo this basically means i gotta work hard,but well despite saying so i'm still not starting any form of strengthening exercises so i guess i'm all talk:p Haha but i cant afford tt so i better jiayou n anyway i'm reaching sch soon,gotta walk in which is tiring coz i hav 0 stamina now heh so i shall end here first:) this post is mainly 4 my dear bf who notices tt i didnt post in a long while n is prob e only one who does;)but in tt sense i'm grateful,really:)
Recent msn nicks:time 2 slow down n walk e garden path of companionship:)

Driving test

failed again.. stupid driving test..

this time i seriously thought my skills were mostly up to standard.. argh blame my failure in seeing the motorcycle coming my way.. haiz..
n i still need 2 brush up on checking every direction during parking apparently..
n i hav 2 form up correctly else it'll b another immediate failure..
crap so many things despite me being satisfied wif my skills level.. hateful. n this time so many ppl noe i was taking the test.. haiz so it'll b quite painful telling every1 when they ask.. haiz, nvm that way i'll become numb 2 e pain faster ;p
i was pretty confident.. hate feeling such crushing defeat; was it wrong 2 feel as if everything will go smoothly? should hav realised that i should nv hav such high hopes of myself apparently.. guess this depends a lot on luck n the day's conditions. not to mention i thought the tester was pretty strict. oh i need 2 brush up on my // parking.. it has nv been a prob.. juz not used 2 the one in the circuit where the pole is so near the edge of the parking lot.

Haiz. nvm it's over.. i'm juz glad tt i wasnt left 2 my own thoughts 2 sink in self-despair after the test, my dear came over n waited 4 me 2 finish up wif the test n everything.. then we went watch 'made of honour' after which i was pretty much back 2 normal.. he was so sweet 2 me after e test.. hmm kind of like that treatment :P but i noe his normal attention to me is alr a lot so i'm grateful for that.. we went je after that 2 get some cooking bks from the library n cooking/baking supplies n grabbed some dinner despite me not being hungry (it was alr 9plus) n then he sent me home.. didnt sound lyk much but i enjoyed my time wif lance :P hmm the 2nd attempt for my driving test (which was also a failure) was also followed by a day out wif lance too so hmm the company is great as always :) no complaints dere.. juz tt i wanna pass n celebrate wif my dear instead of moping ard n having 2 get him 2 cheer me up n everything.. i juz wanna stop wasting time n $$ both of which i seriously hate wasting.. oh wells, it's been a long n tiring day wat wif LDP meeting in the morn at 10am followed by 2 hrs driving then the test n all so yup time 2 get a well-deserved rest! :)

some little thoughts of mine..

hmm i realise i'm pretty much pessimistic wif my thoughts most of the time, failing to think abt the better things in life, always seeing things in a darker shade of light than it could have been seen in.. i noticed this a few days back while on my way to my driving lesson.. suddenly feeling as if i could see things in a better light, in a better way; be it my family, my friends, my driving lesson.. everything took on a better colour so as to speak... i was grateful for that which i have and a bit regretful over that which i don't but knowing that i already have so much n hence not being too greedy for more.. heh sounds quite deep n all but that was my thoughts at that point in time.. anyway the lesson after that turned out to be pretty bad so my mood took a swing downwards so it was perhaps gd that i had tried to make myself feel better before the lesson.. n in this incident i realise (as always) that my mood is ever-changing, easily swinging from happy to sad with the swift flow of my thoughts.. was juz thinking that i feel quite apologetic towards lance that he has to bear wif me when i'm in my moods.. throwing tempers or juz being downright unhappy... hmmm...is it a gals thing or issit juz me.. a qns i'll juz hav 2 consider but not really bother wif esp since my days are packed wif activities to bz myself wif everyday :P

recent msn nicks: '3 whole days more..' ... 'i reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some'

bitter aint = best medicine

I HATE CHINESE MEDICINE; IT'S BITTER N TORTUROUS.

Hate it loads.

Detest it more n more n more!

Always feel lyk puking after drinking it & my stomach feels uncomfortable 4 a pretty long while after. urgh.