finally, it's over...

yes! e long awaited day whereby the 1st common test has finally come to an end is here! lol... it's been so long since i last blogged... recalling e last few days of late nite studying... at least it'll b a while before i'll have to do that again... tt's only if i fail to study earlier in advance... must focus... now's e time 2 learn to focus before the next common test, then perhaps i'll be able to study better and score better... haiz.

Today went out wif class after phy ct... n guess who i saw when e bus went past e hc stop... shermeen!! haha... it's so nice seeing some1 familiar... she was alone though,... look so lonely,... hmmm it's been so long since i went out wif her... soon,... i shall ask her....

hmmm... well... juz wanna say smthg,... i felt ok 4 this phy ct even though it was supposed to kill us ;) haha, they always say tt... but i seriously need 2 go thru my notes faster... i failed 2 finish studying properly... n i also failed to study e mcq topics sufficiently such tt i couldn't do any of e waves qns,... sigh, a waste of easy marks so as to speak... but wat i wanna say is tt e class ppl always think i can do v well for e exam... they juz dun understand... i worked hard 4 it but i also slacked lots of time... i'm juz slightly more hardworking than them only.. i'm no genius, i can't get 4 As now, but i'm willing to try, to strive for it even if it seems unattainable, i refuse to believe that s5g ppl all do badly, i hope tt i can show them tt even we can do well, we dun hav 2 b from 5a to do tt... but they dun seem 2 c this... they themselves look down on e class generally, i dun deny tt i didn't do tt but i seriously believe that they're all capable if only they'll try... perhaps it's e understanding concept part which they dun get... i noe it's not entirely their unwillingness 2 study tt is e cause of e overall not so ideal grades, some of 'em sincerely dun understand... wonder how i can help... it prob sounds as if i'm trying 2 act lyk some great person who noes everything n is trying 2 help others who're not as gd juz 2 show her capability... but i'm not lyk tt, tt's e very last thing on my mind, for eg, one of my friend, she always sleep in class, although she real gd in maths such tt she's a genius kind who dun hav 2 study, but tt's not so in e other subj, n she doesn't put in any effort at all, it doesn't matter 2 her at all... haiz, i guess every1 has diff priorities, cca's hers. haiz, i'm such a busybody.

but e fact tt i myself despise e class really irks me. a lot of my classmates also feel tt e class average grade would definitely be lower than that of e cohort, of 5a... which is supposedly e best class in e s5 combi... i wish 2 remove this unconscious biasedness, but i dunno how, for i myself am some1 wif this kind of thinking. to tell e truth, i hav nv been in any so-called worst class before n this is a 1st time, an experience, not say s5g is e worst class but it's one of e classes on e other end of e spectrum.

CT coming, it's time 2 study...*

Common tests are coming, no time to blog... not tt usually i hav e time, but anyway, now's e time 2 study... 2dae was also e release of e 'A' level results for e seniors, apparently they did v well... best in 6 yrs... e pressure on us juz increases... oh well, study time!

having come this far*

was reading thru my old blog posts n noticed a few things... mainly this post is gonna b abt archery so yah... here goes...

basically, i was told by my capt (galz team) during trng camp tt she didn't quite lyk me @ e beginning, coz i made life quite difficult for her n all, wif my complaints... my attitude. i seem 2 hav an attitude prob, always complaining n hoping 2 get outta trng... pretty irritating... but i'm real glad tt they didn't reject me coz of tt... right now they're talking abt juniors' attitude towards archery n thinking of who they wanna accept... of which attitude is a pretty impt criteria... a while back, i had some run-ins wif e vice capt (galz team) but it's ok now... we're usually quite close so now everything's back 2 normal alr... back then, i thought of quitting coz since made capt n vcapt's life difficult n all... thought of quitting after e juniors are settled down... but i dunno... now i'm reluctant 2 leave, to leave e sport n e ppl i've met in it... now my form (posture) is right already, i dun wanna forget it... it's such a waste... after all i've been thru 2 learn all tt in e past yr... it seems so wasted 2 juz quit... mebbe i should continue in uni? i dun really noe... i was thinking if i quit now... n c team members ard in sch, it'll b quite awkward... we're quite close n all.. it juz doesn't seem right 2 juz quit. after joining archery, i've sarcrificed lots tt's 4 sure but in e process i also gained a lot unknowingly... had a galz talk kinda thing wif my capt juz now... real wonderful talking abt such stuff... i gained a great group of friends whom i noe i can keep after jc... at times when i can't count on my class 2 provide e warmness tt this 'family' can, i noe i can lean on this group of friends 2 help pull me thru any probs i have... i used 2 think of my class as smthg temporary, tt i'll leave this place n this class soon enuff, i juz have 2 bear wif it a while more, i'll b free after this, after leaving nj... not sure if i think tt anymore, juz tt i'm not tt extremist in my thinking now... when i can't depend on my class 4 comfort, i realise tt e team provides this 4 me. a few wks back, i felt kinda foreign in my class, tt time i was trying 2 ostro myself wat ;) haha, anyway, yah, tt time, when i didn't quite feel welcome in my class, i would b eager 4 e day 2 end, so tt after sch, during trng, i could b wif my team, which would make me feel more at home, better than my class at any rate.... -ve thinking, tsk.

well i can say tt i'm glad 2 hav entered archery, i've cum a long way since tt day when i stepped into e range 2 ask 2 join archery... so i should appreciate all tt i've gained in e process, having learnt wat is commitment n actually being commited 2 smthg, 2 hav made such wonderful friends who will stay by me even after i leave nj... a group of ppl i noe outside my class in nj... ppl i'm glad 2 c ard sch when moving from classes 2 classes... juz tt simple wave to 'em when i c 'em ard, it's quite a wonderful feeling. i've cum this far, so i might as well go furthur, juz a bit more.

hmmm....*

well let's c, nthg much 2 sae... so shall juz write some unimpt stuff... lyk for chem test i got 14/28, passed.. one of e 5 who passed chem test in class... haha... then phy test, got juz passed also, e only gal who passed, 12/24 i think... juz passed again... e rest of e guyz got lyk 13 coz they copy each other... e galz got single digits... haiz... if only they study... then erm econ test... fail... 7/20, was calculations... so haiz. well my class most prob having JTS next sat... @ clarke quay apparently... juniors so nice... so us seniors can't lose out 2 'em! so tt means we muz pay lots for STJ... haiz... haha, ok, end here, nitez!

yay... cny hols r here!*

yupz, now i hav e time 2 blog... hehe... anyway... i realised tt i didn't mention tt since dec, i also participated in another archery comp... so basically for both comp, we got girls team gold... was real happy when we got e 1st gold... finally show tt vc wat we're made of... 2nd time round,... was from a rather small scale comp... so it wasn't all tt rewarding winning e gold... coz there was only 3 girls team in e event anyway... but well we had e chance to hav prize presentation twice in 3 weeks,.. haha bet it left a lasting impression on e juniors... rite now only abt 14 juniors, inclusive of lyk 3 girls... but i dunno... e original team is quite close even if i dun quite feel e closeness... but i guess tt all of e team ppl r quite gd friends of mine which kinda equates as a close team... e teacher was saying how close a team we were... n how our gals team capt was kinda reluctant 2 get new ppl into e team. oh well... nowadays i kinda prefer e (original) team 2 e class... dunno y... lack e kind of feeling of gd friends in class i think... but if i bother 2 try, i believe i can b close 2 e class... they're all nice ppl after all... but can't b helped if e gals hav their own cliques in class n me not quite lyking my own so called 'clique'... so i guess e best soln n only soln is 2 keep away from 'em until i feel lyk gg wif 'em again... me e loner... it's tough being alone in a co-ed envt... in mg it was easier... rite now i juz wanna feel lyk tt so hmmm, i'm not makin sense here but nvm.

these days team members keep suaning me... n disturbing me... humph! stupid guyz team... yeah it's e guyz doing e suaning... coz 1 of their classmates is a mg gal also... who's real gd at studies, 4 As kinda person,... a treasured friend of mine... n erm she kinda keeps insulting e guyz in her class( some of whom r archers...) n so they do tt 2 me also while i keep defending her... actually they start 1st one lor! that's y she's juz being defensive... haiz... now i noe how she suffers in her class ;) for 1 yr alr... 10 mths more for her ;) n cum 2 think of it... me too... haiz... hav 2 suffer wif her... i complained 2 my capt already... she said we'll beat 'em up one day... haha... funny... oh well, wat r friends 4 if i can't defend my friend thru this period of time rite? ;) lol...

well... let's chat a bit more abt my junior class shall we? when e class 1st met 'em... e class was half dere coz s15 is tt kinda class which is super involved in cca stuff... got sport cca as well as societies... we got lyk 2 presidents in our class, angklung n western dance... way cool class if u think of it... got lots of exco members for sport ccas... one capt even... haha... so can imagine wat kinda class it is rite? anyway, e class made e effort 2 wait 4 e junior class a while longer b4 gg 2 help their respective ccas for cca carnival tt day... when e junior class came in... e feeling they gave me while they gathered standing dere facing us(we were sitting ;) hehe) was strangely v nice... they gave me e feeling tt e class is gg 2 b real close, real wonderful 2gether, a warm kind of feeling, a feeling of home n family, of closeness n friendship. a feeling tt s67 once gave me. i was touched... wat a strange feeling... hahaz... but tt is in e past n i truly acknowledge tt wat's past is past, those will remain cherished memories :). oh well but apparently they're not tt close, these days, u nv ever c 'em 2gether as a class outside of lessons... whenever we hav breaks (05s15) we c e juniors in groups... u c a small no eating... n lyk 20 min later... u c some of e others cuming down e stairs.. they walk separately ... tt's wat i'm talking abt, not as a class. from wat i heard, many juniors dun lyk their class... haiz... well, as for me... naturally since we've e angel mortal game, i hav an angel n a mortal who r both juniors... but stupid mortal doesn't reply n angel took 1 wk 2 send e 1st letter so i can't b bothered 2 write letters 2 em at all, much less ask abt wat's gg on in their class... i already noe who's my angel, typical kind of ppl i always pick in these sorta games, but i promised a friend i'll give every1 a chance n stop being cynical n mean... in turn she promised 2 stop gossiping but she hasn't stopped yet... nvm, i shall try 2 stick 2 my promise.

juz yesterday, went out wif s15 after cny celeb... n instead of kbox (too ex) we watched a movie instead... well... e group of 17 ppl went for 3 diff movies... coz well some watched these n sum wanna watched others so e 3 movies were fearless, memoirs of a geisha n i not stupid too... i watched e last movie.... v sad n funny... funny at 1st then e sad part at e end which was super long lar... anyway... apparently fearless had a sad ending too... e guyz said jet lee got poisoned n he fought after being poisoned so was kind of a painful death yah. after tt some stayed behind 2 hav dinner wif e juniors (all e guyz= 6 guyz n lyk 6 galz) yah... wonder how many juniors will turn up... btw e whole class seems somewhat obsessed wif this so called chio bu in e junior class... super athletic n all, gd figure according 2 e galz... i juz find her kinda cute tt's all, not pretty, only cute. even e galz are obsessed wif her... crazed. galz looking at galz... wat has e world cum to... i ask em n they tell me, no yan dao (shuai ge) 2 look at so look at galz instead... watever.

summary*

okies... lots happened in between e previous post n this but didn't hav e time 2 cum online 2 blog so yah... basically, for team event, we got gold... n erm, my junior class seems quite nice if not as united... but tt's unimpt... playing e angel mortal game again,... which i hav no time for n no need for it either... dun wanna play it but we're not given a choice... jan is almost gone now n 2mrrw's celebrations for cny... not supposed 2 wear sch u 2mrrw... we're synchronising e colour we're wearing 2mrrw... then we'll go kbox... we refers 2 my class... wonder if it'll b fun... anyway... archery also got juniors... interesting ppl... if a bit dao... haiz... they're prob shy or smthg... more fun being wif 'em than wif class juniors anyway... had lots 2 blog initially... but well am tired now not 2 mention tt it's late... n hmm... can't rmber wat i wanted 2 blog... oh wells... -end

busy period of my hols...

29, 30 nov, 1, 2 n 3 dec... had CIP @ suntec... only 1 word 2 descibe it: exhilarating... was fun @ times, coz u're so busy u find it fun... n @ times u get real frustrated coz of messed up stuff - organisation v messy this yr @ e Standard Chartered Singapore Marathon 2005. e marathon was on e 4th itself... @ 1st i only wanted 2 go 4 e 1st 4 daes coz apparently, u need 2 go @ least 4 outta e 5 daes.. but turns out tt i enjoyed myself so much on e 2nd dec... tt i decided to go on e 3rd too! n erm skip trng @ e same time ;) dun tell my capt pls... made lots of real nice new friends dere... kinda sad tt we part ways already... dunno if we'll ever get 2 meet again, they're lyk sec 3, 4, unis... yupz, even working adults also got... coz e volunteering experience is v enriching. really hope someday in e future we'll get 2 meet again... hopefully Singapore is tt small. but well... some of 'em live in e east n north... kinda no hope but we shall see. 29 & 30 was packing of goodie bags - so NOT fun.. zip e stupid shoebags until hands pain already... 1, 2, 3 - expo days... giving out of e bags... it's when e fun n horror begins! horror = i was in 10km section, n e prob was tt e shirts wasn't here yet so we've got 2 put up wif e public's disapproval/anger/unhappiness, u name it, yupz, we had 2 put up wif tt. but got mostly nice ppl too so erm wasn't tt bad. fun = being runner... meaning counter support... getting e bags n e bibs 4 e counter ppl... fun! i was counter too... it was busy n fun too... at times... but v tiring standing... whole time standing so if u go 4 this thing, b prepared 2 stand! 1st 2 days slack... e next 3 is really busy! made lots of friends during e last 3 days... tt's when u get 2 mingle wif e rest.

10, 11 dec... 9 dec was sighters for this archery comp, my 2nd to date. 1st outdr comp... n well todae's e 10, n i'm already burnt red so who noes wat i'll b after 2mrrw... oh well, now i noe better = put sunblock! results out, i'm ranked 13th outta e dunno how many archers... as usual i'm one of e lousiest in e whole team... including guys' team.. oh well... v unhappy wif myself for lacking e stamina 2 maintain my score in e 2nd round. 1st round was 206/300, 2nd round was 160/300 HumPh! considered passed but i had higher expectations of at least 180 for each end... i'll do better 2mrrw, tt i promise 2 try.

not much of a hol...

2nd week of hol, had trng camp... 3 day 2 night, total no of hrs of slp i had= 3.5 hrs... dunno y 2nd nite couldn't slp... we voluntarily switched off e lights at 11 some more... usually 2nd nite can slp... dunno y this time couldn't... at least wasn't a deep slp... v short if there was... anyway... e galz were sleeping on e 2nd floor which was out of bounds to e guyz but erm some of 'em didn't noe so they accidentally stumbled into our rooms 4 various reasons... lyk paying up e money we owed 'em.. haha... meals was horrible.. .everytime wait so long coz they had 2 go out n buy or order macs or stuff lyk tt... longest we waited was 3 hrs... hmm... it was lyk starve until cannot starve already, so had a nap which helped pass e time n forget our hunger for a while then we tried shooting pistol(me) n rifle (no way) which helped to distract us... yupz... trng in e sun... made me darker... during those days... haiz... oh well, at least i wasn't burnt... compared 2 e shooters-pist0l n rifle,... they were so fair... haha... nvm... watched a motivation movie - MIRACLE... really inspired me... commitment... haha... hm, will commit myself from now on... it taught me lots... yupz... hope this feeling can sustain me thru out e whole of next yr too...

3rd wk of hols... harsh trng begins... mon had rest coz trng camp ended on sun... thankfully... coz otherwise it'll b pt.... tue... shooting... wed, break... thurs, pt - endurance otherwise known as morn run... fri, strength trng... otherwise known as strength trng... sat... shooting trng... sun, rest. as seen from above... our trng is undergoing a major overhaul... during camp, we learnt mental trng n putting down on paper our thoughts n feelings abt each trng... our trng is getting more organised... n more disciplined... late 1 min for pt... 5 push-ups... n so on... will increase 2 running round track dunno how many times... 30 min late... turn ard n go home coz makeup pt another day... everyday at home muz do 100 push-ups n 50 jumping jacks... haiz... dunno wat 2 say... but i've decided to commit myself so i didn't complain as much as i usually would,... am trying 2 stop these complaints of mine anyway.. lol... i'm so troublesome... no wonder e galz team capt didn't quite lyk me at 1st.. coz i made life difficult for her... unintentionally... unknowingly... but now i noe so i will not commit e same mistake twice, meaning, my complaints shall CEASE! hehe.

really wat a day~

2dae... hmm... pon sch 2nd time... 1st time was 2 days ago... oops... haha... no 1 say anything... anyway 2dae, went 2 meet mg friends! had fun talking n chatting... then went for pw op workshop... urgh... but it was ok... kinda boring but oh well... then went 2 surprise eleanor! coz her bdae's 2mrrw... so some mg friends crashed nj 2 surprise her... haha, i went too... then we went johnson's duck 2 eat.. yum... but erm... juz when this fabulous evening was going 2 end... some of my friends decided 2 take a pix wif some signboard...when then leant on it... there was a loud sound of breaking utensils... e restaurant on e other side... had stacked saucedishes leaning against e signboard so it was toppled over... all of us were stunned so as 2 speak... we didn't noe wat 2 do... those friends of mine, they immediately offered 2 help clean up, 2 help compensate... e rest of us were willing 2 help pay if necessary... we were all in nj u,... anyway e manager was really really nice, he told us there was no need... it's ok... such a nice person... it's really great noeing such ppl exist... my friends they were really really srry... e employees weren't happy though,... some woman was lyk muttering away in chinese tt it's those girls playing,... haiz... oh well... it's really lucky for us tt he didn't make a big issue outta it... wonder if nj's reputation was ruined... haiz... me n my friend was lyk we don't care anyway... hahaz... outta e group of 8 ppl there... only 4 were real nj ppl... hahaz... anyway... what a day.

life after promos~

yay, now can relax alr... couldn't find anything 2 do though... hmm... anyway, juz glad tt exams r over n now can rest... or so i thought, thinking... i realised tt there'll still b lessons, there'll still b hwk, much worse is tt there'll still b trng, yuck, hate PTs.. only ever really liked e shooting part of e whole cca session anyway... n well... only switched on my hp in e evening, n i realised there was 5 missed calls, n 6 sms... why are those ppl looking 4 me.. when i leave my hp on 4 more than 72 hours, it doesn't ring, no not a single time, when i switch it off for a day, ... no 1 seemed 2 realise tt they can call direct 2 my home... not lyk i blame 'em or care... msg was abt trng, resumes 2mrrw, rite after promos, wat can i say... thought i had a chance 2 rest, guess not... SIGH... it's lyk back 2 tt life full of complaints... will definitely look forward 2 e time when ccas r no longer a bother,... primarily referring 2 end of jc... haha, sounds so extreme. every1 says studying years r e best... they're rite... but sometimes, when u're in this situation... can't b helped... mg would b a lot better.

Tempus Fugit~ time flies...*

no kidding... tempus fugit... time flies... how apt a description... i seem 2 b wallowing in self-despair... haiz... was talking to my friend e dae b4 yest... fri... realised tt these few weeks... always been mentioning life ... in e 1st 3 mths... always recalling 2 e fun times we had... e many little jokes... lyk how sher used 2 dodge whenever we put a phone in front of her... for fear of its camera... but we always use a cam-less phone... lol... i guess i'm trying 2 use my present class as subst? i checked ard... n realised tt most ppl had cam phones... strange... i would expect nj 2 hav ppl wif less of such phones... but well... i guess e cam phones r v common alr... wonder if she's still so affected by such a gesture... or has 67 trained her alr? i wonder...

guess i've been comparing e kind of ppl i meet in both schs also... v diff types of ppl... how strange... we're all singaporeans but such a vast diff... hav been comparing... my friends n i,... we keep saying s15.. my nj class.. has no guyz... hahaz... i dunno... it's juz small little things here n dere tt gave me tt impression... they... their lang v coarse, v rough... my poor friend cringed on hearing 'em... but well, got used 2 it alr... hear bad lang everydae... poor me... wish i was back in mg... but well, we can't turn e hands of e clock back... tough luck... but i guess they're alr acceptable... should stop complaining... things might hav been worse... ok... gotta admit smthg... kept comparing 'em wif 67 guyz... man, i think i'll regret saying this... but well, really, now i noe.. how decent they r compared 2 my class guyz now.

i was telling my friend... by now i think i should hav let go alr... but somehow i keep dwelling on e past... it's not wrong 2 look back... but i guess it's wrong to keep my head turned back while walking forward... might knock into a pillar... hahaz... wat a bitter laugh... sigh... i muz face forward... i muz.

fri, had lunch wif some of e ppl from 67, mainly mh, sher, ivan, darren, ian n jenny... it was really hard 2 organise it... wat wif mh doing e organisation... tt morn i was in a gd mood... realised tt i was nv in such a gd mood ever, not since entering nj... anyway, was laughing n joking wif some friends... then 1st lesson... mh ruined it by saying how e galz all can't make it... might hav 2 cancel it after all... darn, wat wif e lousy marks i got from econ drq test... i was really down in e pits... think i sorta gave my classmate an arrogant look, a darn pissed look... well it's ok, we dun really communicate anyway. then it was really hard 2 smile in e 2nd lesson n so on... msg jenny n she said, we'll juz go over n c how... so ok, agreed. fri after sch, coz there's math remedial, tt's y so many classmates stay back... real glad 4 their company, even though i was only wif 2 galz - my pw mates.

lunch - went over... sat @ e bench... saw 1 snr... forgot his name... sigh... alice's angel n mortal... even jenny forgot his name... then they ended sch... alice 1st one down... prob coz she's 2 go 4 oac... painting banner... prob for maf... haiz... was talking wif qt abt tt... she said alice invited her so she invite me n it's not tt e class forgot abt us... well they juz don't inform us abt stuff anymore... ok, shall stop it... anyway, then e galz all came down 1st... followed after a short while by e guyz... woah... it's lyk really woah... suddenly hit me tt oh yeah, e ratio's lyk 18 guyz to 8 galz... forgot abt tt... hahaz... it was nice seeing familiar faces again... kinda... more or less... ivan asked if i still wanted 2 strangle him... hahaz... mh is e target now... she pissed me off more... there was a mango on e table... wanted 2 throw it @ mh... jk. lunch, adam's rd... was ok, mh had 2 rush off 4 yida's autograph session... but got a taste of e familiar atmosphere... lunching 2gether. anyway... yeah. guess i'll stop here.

temper temper- time 2 b tempered*

okies, shall not throw tantrums anymore... or rather i shall try not to ;) anywayz.... update... e wounds on my arms, legs, everywhere r healing now... within a few days, they're almost gone, tt Dr Loke sure is gd. being e responsible me i turned up tt dae, crap, hate it when duty calls... ok, promos, 6 wks left, chem spa, 4 wks left, phy spa, 1 wk left, chem n math tests, 1 wk left... = it's time 2 start revision... rite... n e ipod mini gold colour, apparently it's not in Singapore yet... too bad then... mh... guess u hav 2 wait... haven't lunched wif e 67 galz in a long while... but well... wonder how they're doing now? sigh... it's time 2 study every1... no matter who/where we r...

well i guess i have 2 admit... i'm starting to like my class... they're real fun, almost comparable to 67, or rather wat 67 was. s15, they definitely do not = mugger class... after having a few class outings wif 'em since joining this class... am starting to like e class ONLY, not nj, yucks. they gave us a feedback form 2dae 2 fill up n let's c, there was do u agree whether the facilities n environment r conducive for studying? PUh-leez! e mosquitos! so i put strongly disagree! then later they put are you proud to be part of njc? strongly DISAGREE! whahahaha... so many disagrees n strongly disagrees in 1 feedback, 1st time i disagreed so much... tsk tsk, nj has FAILED terribly! HA! there was 1 option saying if other people are criticising njc, you will defend njc.... STRONGLY DISAGREE!! i was telling my friend, i'll join them in their criticisms man! so funny... it's lyk they've really failed... either tt or i resist too well... my friends n i (2nd intaker galz) were discussing 2dae... when ppl asked wat sch we're from... we would mumble njc... it's so pathetic... i also dunno y... i juz dun feel proud 2 b part of njc... they say it's boring here... but e councillors n every1 r really trying their best 2 make this place fun... but i guess e uniform reduces watever effect they had? it can b pretty fun in here, esp wif my class, but well guess e general idea is still nj is a mugger sch... can't b helped i guess.

btw, i've changed my hp no.... u ppl should hav received my sms otherwise... i dunno... network failure? hahaz... anyway, nitez ppl, mugging time. ;)

u wish, i'll not turn up, there's a limit 2 my patience! n e limit's been breached! curses::..

hey
can i complain?
i've juz been thoroughly angered
stupid archery
u noe there was supposed 2 b a meeting juz now but then it was cancelled... e capt told me after i put down my bag...
so tt wasted a bit of my time...
so i was a bit pissed
then i dunno, i got pissed a lot 2dae... feeling up n down lots... dunno y
then they sms me
i end at 1230 2mrrw
they wanna meet at 5 pm
n so i said i went down 4 nthg juz now, now u want me 2 wait damn long, 5hrs juz for a meeting 2 discuss e script
so i said wait n c if i feel lyk turning up
n she said no i will not wait n c, it's ur choice whether/not 2 cooperate n give a LITTLE more then e luckier ones who dun hav 2 wait
u noe... i'm really damn angry.
i was feeling so down juz now on e bus dunno y... juz felt lyk crying... i dunno wat's going on... then receiving e msg juz now made me so angry... i really wanna quit archery now...

i dunno
i really dunno
i hate it rite now
perhaps after a nite of slp... things will get better... or rather things will b clearer
i'm really tired...
tired of compromising...
tired of doing things way beyond myself juz 4 em
i noe tt perhaps e others r doing e same thing also... but i nv had e experience b4... i dunno whether i can handle it
i mean it's lyk affecting my studies too
i really hate this
damn!
i wanted 2 use stronger words in my nick but i guess i thought better of it...
they don't exactly deserve my attention
they're not worth it
esp not njc
it's juz a short 2 yrs here... it's ending soon, i'll study hard n get outta here
then it'll b over i hope
finally
haiz
i seem 2 b trying 2 comfort myself

i really felt lyk quitting a lot of times alr

i dunno whether i can sustain for e rest of e 1+yrs here leh
if i quit i dun hav 2 face all these again
i dun hav 2 waste my time there
i can use my time better elsewhere

i was supposed 2 do my dc circuit tut
but i got too pissed off by em
i'm quite glad i got e mc now... mebbe it might = to me seeing less of 'em

haiz... i noe... but i dunno how 2 solve it... i dun wanna flare up @ em ... i sort of flared up in front of my capt b4 u noe
n i dunno... it'll b e 2nd time... i seriously wonder if i've been angered by e same party so many times b4 in my entire life
now it's all their fault tt i can't do my hwk

c how they affect my studies?

-end

~lonely solitude, nostalgic for bittersweet memories~

defn: Unhappy at being away and longing for familiar things or persons
bittersweet: Tinged with sadness
lone: Characterized by or preferring solitude in mode of life
solitude: A disposition toward being alone

~lonely solitude, nostalgic for bittersweet memories~

"looking back at the past, how i wish things didn't have to change between us; i've asked myself countless times: why must we be separated? it's a fact, we can no longer be 2gether again, no matter how much we try, we can no longer go back 2 tt time in life, when we were happy, when we were in each other's company."

"i'm waiting for you here, where are you? Are u waiting too? for my appearance in your life? if only e time when we finally meet can arrive faster... i'm adrift in the sea of time, waiting for you to lift me into your arms, before i sink below... so please hurry, hurry here to save me."

"isn't she lucky this hollywood gal? n they say she's so lucky she's a star, but she cry cry cry wif a lonely heart thinking, 'if there's nthg missing in my life, then y does these tears come at nite?' she's so lucky, but she cry cry cries..."

"i used 2 think i had e ans 2 everything, but now i noe, life doesn't always go my way, feels lyk i'm caught in e middle, tt's when i need your love... all i need is time, a moment tt is mine, while i'm in between."

these few days, have been real tired, always falling asleep in lectures n tutorials, i've changed, not for e better n i really hate this me, but i wouldn't let this bring me down, no way.

bks bks bks

oh yeah, am also reading artemis fowl @ e moment, 1st bk n e arctic incident... yupz, am waiting 2 get e other 2... pretty interesting... also reading comics recently... but well, time 4 studies now, esp wif 6-7 wks thereabt left 2 promos, i need 2 start now... esp after those results 4 ct... anyway cya ppl.

nthg much 2 sae...*

well lyk e title says, i've got nthg 2 sae, but well haven't been blogging in a long while so i guess it's time i blogged again... harry potter n e half-blood prince juz came out, on e 16th of july... i finished reading it on tt sunday, n well... went back 2 sch on mon n every1 was talking abt it... i didn't expect certain classmates 2 b reading harry potter but they were all discussing it... esp e ending... yeah i feel v unfair 4 dumbledore, he trusted him! oh well... guess it teaches us a lesson, believe all u want in a person but don't 4get who he started out as... nay, juz kidding. but well, can tell harry sure matured lots, esp in e last few pages... hope things will b ok in e end...
well, my grad ceremony is 2mrrw, or some refer 2 it as speech day, for mg, it's called founder's day, or rather they arrange e grad ceremony 2 b on e same day as founder's day...
on fri, i went 4 doctor's appointment 2 check out all these 'wounds', yeah all e galz n some guyz out there who noes me would noe wat i'm refering 2... hahaz... almost if not all e galz i noe who've seen me in e past month would noe... they all saw... their observance is amazing i muz admit... well gd thing is tt it's nthg tt bad, it's smthg lyk due to my body itself, then i got bitten by some bug so my body reacted 2 e bite n caused all these things 2 come out... bad news is tt it'll take a few yrs 2 go off... haiz... so much 4 'spotless' skin ... @ least @ e end of it, it wouldn't leave any scars behind... or so e doc says... who noes... hav 2 wait n c...
well, CT... was real bad, got ----, for math, chem, phy n econ respectively... my gp... it's too horrible 4 me 2 b willing 2 publicize it... all of 'em too horrible so i rather not sae here. so i got a tuition teacher, juz had 1st session 2dae, was ok. ok, am tired, shall leave now, bye :)

outing EnJoyeD it!!!

noticed tt my tagboard going haywire, when tag... muz refresh whole page 2 c e new tag... if not click nonstop no use... juz results in too many tags... haiz... tried fiddling wif it, didn't work... still e same old prob, srry ppl, guess we all juz hav 2 bear wif it til i find a better one
2dae, 1/7, had outing!!! went 2 meet up wif 67 after their math paper then went over 2 orchard where we had lunch at pastamania... we spent lots of time deciding where 2 go- as usual... when will this change? haiz hopefully soon. okies, then we went watch movie -WaR oF e woRldS... it raWkS!! no kidding, dun listen 2 mh... she actually said she felt lyk SleePINg!!! sheesh... it was lyk felt so highstrung thru out movie... it's juz tension from start 2 end... lyk e guyz said, their fight 4 survival is really portrayed very vividly, clearly. not a minute of rest b4 some other crisis befalls e ray n his family... it was lyk woah... tensed up thru out movie! well, then we took neoprints twice... damn hot in e booth they still take so many times... sheesh... then went heeren walked ard in hmv b4 alice, yj n i left... yupz... it was lyk 6 by tt time... amazing how time flies... esp when u're juz stoning ard n waiting 4 'em 2 make up their mind abt where 2 go... but well it was gd being back wif 67, enjoyed every minute tt i had chatting wif 'em again... well kinda regret not watching movie wif 15 but i guess... there'll always b a next time :) we should b optimistic hehe, anyway ta ta now.

wheeee... time 2 hav fun!

yupz, i'm totally ready 2 juz stay home n while my time away... luv e long wkend... sch'll b dreadful when we hav 2 go back... haiz... wat wif phy spa coming up... bUt tt's things 2 worry abt in e future, not now, not here, not in e present! shall attempt 2 begin blogging again... but no guarantees... stuff will always get in way... which is kinda sad considering how young this blog is :( nvm, there'll b time. well back 2 e usual... realise i'm always complaining, talking abt hc, archery n sometimes nj... i guess tt's wat my life is all abt... hmm shall attempt 2 talk abt other stuff, laTer.
a quick update on wat's going on in:
-archery = trng during hols were everydae
= hard work paid off, i did my 'personal best' in comp even though it was lyk ranked 31 out of dunno how many, abt 60-70. lousiest of all e nj shooters but wat e heck.
= team event, i was in e galz team, 1st shooter some more so nervous, other teams damn noisy, keep cheering nonstop even if their members' arrows didn't hit e board. nus, ntu, tp n many more. well too bad 4 nus/ntu, not gonna join their archery club when i reach tt lvl :P.
= being 1st time participants, we didn't expect much outta this comp... n well we sent 3 teams, 2 guys', 2 galz' team... out of which 1 of e guyz' team got 4th overall, same position as e galz' team... 4 vs 4... not bad at all even though we were quite disappointed at having missed getting e medal... in order 2 show mrs cheng tt she's wrong.
-school = common tests.... quick summary...
= G.P. okay.
= math NoT ok -40 marks alr, outta 100... chem NoT ok -26/80 alr...
= econ, quick satisfied, after doing e essay, quite happy wif it.
= phy... So NoT oK... paper 1 was ok... -12/40m(if tt's considered ok...) n paper 2 was E killer... every qns dunno how 2 do... formulas dun seem 2 b able 2 work... sigh looks lyk this is e 1st time i'm gonna fail my exams... max fail 3 subj, min, fail 1 subj... either way still fail... wat can i say? i tried my best considering i only had 6 days after all tt archery trng 2 study... haiz.
-my life = went out wif nj class 2dae after e phy paper... quite a lot of ppl went... well, went ps 2 eat n they went 2 watch movie(either war of e world/a lot lyk luv) some watched war, e rest watch luv... yeah. i didn't go... not interested in those movies plus dun wanna waste money... lousy excuse... 2mrrw might b going 2 watch movie wif hc class also... so juz making sure e movie i watch will b smthg i haven't watch b4... tt doesn't make sense... heck care.

trng---clashes----wif everything.. but i still luv archery

haiz haiz haiz sigh sigh sigh... archery teacher sae muz give up everything else coz no time 4 'em... only left time for studies n trng...not quite sure if there's even time 4 studies... next wk... trng whole wk... mon, mental trng, 130-330, tues 2 thurs, trng from 3-6pm... really really dun wanna voice out my objections 2 these dates... even though i arranged wif mh 2 go kbox wif her on tues , 2-7pm... coz he's always saying, would u put trng b4 leisure a not? i've placed trng in front of leisure so many times alr.. he juz doesn't noe... would it hurt if i sae i can't make it 2 trng this once coz of leisure? or would it b lyk e case where once u make a mistake u're black-listed 4 life... then he'll hav a bad impression of me... if he doesn't alr... how 2 run 4 ex-co lyk tt... haiz
he was saying out there... every archer is ur enemy... they'll pick on ur every mistake... to give nj archers a bad reputation, for e.g. last nite... we went potong pasir cc to train... actually it's only lyk 2 person who went... i went there 2 fletch my arrows n put in e arrow tips... n i left pretty early... anyway, this morn, 9am... e rj coach called n complained abt all e rubbish left behind supposedly by us... luckily our teacher clarified wif him n found out tt it wasn't nj archers who left all tt rubbish but some other ppl... so u c... ppl outside... they can't wait 2 give nj archers a bad reputation, esp since we're new.. so-called pioneers... not 2 sae tt u can't hav friends who r archers, our archery teacher's good friends r also archers, it's juz tt in competition they'll b tt, competitors.
3rd june, fridae, 12-3... went n crashed hc phy lect... irene tan took so long 2 notice jenny n i... then when she noticed she was lyk 'ae... err... ok...' then she kept looking back... during break she came up n talked 2 us... hahaz... anyway... after tt, i went 2 get my arrows n stuff... all e way in bishan... haiz... then went outdoor range 2 meet up wif e rest of e archers then went potong pasir cc to train(i didn't train i juz went there 2 c) then by e time reached home... was 8+...
4th june, sat, 1-3pm archery trng over @ Cdans, but i didn't manage 2 train much... coz was fletching my arrows... then i took lyk 2hr 2 fletch... haiz... wasn't easy... but part of e time was spent on stoning coz hav 2 wait 4 glue 2 dry... anyway... then we voted 4 archery boys' team capt n vice-capt... was a close competition coz voting was 7-6... anyway, i support both candidates so it's ok who bcome capt n who bcome v-capt ... btw, only 2 person ran... e rest were not interested/too busy yeah stuff... gals' team capt n vice-capt will only b decided after one of e galz who went back 2 china(she's from there) comes back... haiz...
okay, doubt i'll come online e next few daes coz of trng n studies, so this place will b quiet for e next wk or so... anyway, time 2 go... nitez all!

busy busy week...* prob is tt haven't start mugging

i'm so dead... haven't started studying anything... really really muz chiong now... let's give a quick recount of my wk... 29 may, sun, archery, coz i taking a course... lvl 1 course... e basics 2 archery... then coz e board was shifted so close... coz beginners wat... so my arrows all land v close 2gether... n coz dist so close, arrows went into board wif lotsa force, v hard 2 take out, plus they all clustered 2gether so v hard 2 remove... half e time asking other ppl help me take out arrows... even e coach also help... he was smiling when helping me... prob coz only me got such a prob... coz i shot e arrows so close 2gether wat... meaning i'm zai! err okay... not true lar... coz later on, after e course, we practised 4 our upcoming comp, practise shooting e pro-er way... n shift e board v far back... guess wat... this time e arrows not even on e board i'm aiming on lar... haiz... muz go practise.
okies, then 30, mon, nothg... i slacked e dae away... tues, 31st, got phy makeup tutorial, from 9-1040... then after tt, e class all go one of e galz' house 2 watch movie: star wars... then later they going for class lunch,
@ sakae sushi at west mall i think... i dun eat sushi so i didn't go, i didn't go 4 movie also coz they left n forgot abt asking me along... haiz... i guess they assume i wasn't going.. so i went lunch wif e other galz who're not gg 4 e class thingy... went golden rooster... saw alice wif her oac friends there... wat a coincidence! hahaz... then on e bus home met 2 of my classmates going 2 tt friend's house 2 watch movie... i didn't go along.. went home 2 slp instead.. so anti-social... haiz.. when did i bcome lyk tt...
1st june, wed... MUGGING session @ hc!!! went 2 meet e galz @ johnson duck 4 lunch... didn't expect 2 c e class guyz but well... it was lyk a whole group of hwa chongians juz descended on tt busstop then e guyz walk in front... jackson leading e pack.. wah look lyk some gang lar... hahaz... jackson look so fierce some more... then i was standing in front of him.. he didn't notice lor... until he came closer... then he was lyk ae! wat u doing here? oh u meeting us for lunch ah?... i said, no, i'm meeting e galz... so he went oh okay lor, then we go liao, bye bye... hahaz... anyway, johnson e fd quite yum, not a bad recommendation.then went back hc 2 class bench 2 mug... however.. weather damn hot.. plus zj brought poker cards along.. so erm instead of mugging, we played bridge instead, mh was lyk: this is not an official mugging session, still early, no need 2 mug yet... hahaz... only alice got any studying done lar, she sit beside us not distracted by e cards @ all... then went cdans 2 get my bow n quiver, spent $207 then met mg classmate @ busstop, she's in cj now. then went airport sent my sis off 2 London, sch trip, yupz, hope she enjoys e in-flight movie... n games :) so reach home at 10+, eat dinner n showered... so late rite? haiz, can't b helped then fell asleep quickly slept at 1am sigh.
2nd june, thurs, another long dae, coz previous nite didn't do any work then 2dae got chem makeup tutorial so went 2 kap at 830 2 mug... meeting my pw group there at 10 yup so went early 2 mug, quite productive, i should go kap 2 mug more often. yupz... then we went golden rooster(HAIZ) 2 eat... dao bao n sat on floor n ate lar... damn sad.. e others were lyk: no big deal wat... n i was lyk... i've nv done this b4.. sick of e fd there lar. then went back sch, chem makeup tut 1-430pm so long... it was actually 4 hrs long, then he let us off at 430.in e midst of lesson, celebrated 3 classmates' bdae, got 2 cakes 2 eat... hehe, bet sher would juz drown in happiness if she was here, one mango cake, another pink cake, prob strawberry? dunno got lotsa cream on it. anyway, glad i didn't fall aslp during tut, managed 2 learn lots from this session, glad 4 tt :) then actually at 630 need 2 go get arrows but archery teacher called during tut n told me.. no need, not 2dae... 2mrrw afternoon... haiz.. glad 2 hav e evening 2 stay home anyway, it felt as if i've been going out early n reaching home late everydae, which is not true.. but e main prob is tt i'm not really studying yet, which is really worrisome, coz i really need lotsa time 2 study... shall start asap, but 2mrrw promises 2 b another long dae so can't b helped, another 'stay-out' dae where i'll spend my afternoon n perhaps evening outside. haiz. sad case.