Tuesday, March 31, 2009

my love for studies (the past)

i was juz looking for a phrase to describe my current position of ignoring everything and anything and juz focus on studying n 'policy of isolationism' popped up in my mind. heh did a 1 sec search on goggle to check if the phrase was correct n i was awash wif thoughts of my past love for history and hence the reason why i took it up together with social studies during sec sch.. i really do love history and geography and especially astronomy. i could even enjoy math in the past. the only prob is that i wan to sit down and savour every word that i read but when you're studying, you're forced to swallow it all and be tested on it.. what i really need is time i think, even for my studies now, i need time 2 practise and be confident in it which unfortunately is not the case. i dun noe how i'm gg 2 survive but i'm still feeling ok, havent lost my temper or started crying due to frustrations etc... yet.

i was quite amazed i didnt throw any tantrums today, shall try and learn to control myself better and better with each passing day! haha coz i was doing thermo tut 9 (n still m) n let's juz say my progress is v little.. anyway i juz wan 2 profess my love for history for astronomy and math. haha the past math n not the now math :p hmm...gotta finish tut 9 tonight! i must!

recent msn nicks:
policy of isolationism

nice quote:
If you are doing what you have always done, you will be getting what you have always gotten (NJC Shooting Club Motto)

short extract of something inspirational:
Mervyn also mentioned about my dream or "vision" as he puts it. What was my vision?

1. That one day, ex-NJC shooters will dominate the shooting scene in Singapore. Not so much to be be smug about it, but to lead the shooting community towards our vision of people development. (We are getting there, trust me).

2. In 10 years, when people from other JCs (who are not in shooting) hear that one of our shooters or alumni is/was from NJC Shooting, they look at you with respect. I have heard from many seniors that we are there already. Perhaps not eveyone recognises us yet. But I have heard that VJC teachers and coach talk about NJC Shooting club as the standard to reach for, in terms of attitude, club spirit, hardwork, and score.

3. That it doesn't matter if an NJC Shooter continues in the sport after JC, the qualities they have developed in the Club over their 2 or 4 (and soon 6) years will persist, such that in 20 years, when a employer or a scholarship board looks at the resume of one of our shooters, they whisper to each other the following "This fella is an NJC Shooter, don't need to see anymore, surely good one). But mostly importantly, in my vision, the scholarship board interviewers or the employer would not have to be from our Club to know that. I believe we are getting there too.

We are not as great as people think of us, or even expect of us. Sometimes, because of these external expectations, we kill ourselves trying to live up to it. Some of us love the club so much that we get frustrated when things are not perfect. I appreciate these seniors for their frustration. The reason why they get so upset is because they love the Club so much. For that, I am truly grateful to them. So should the rest of you. Judge a person by looking at the heart of that person, not his way of showing it.

- Mr Gilbert Lee (ex-teacher i/c of NJC Shooting Club)

Monday, March 30, 2009

meaningful words (song lyrics)

Heh another meaningful song lyrics which actually made me feel better while taking hours doing my thermo tut from dunno how many wks ago... yup.. haha guess e song title?

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned
Leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

hmm think i shall take e time 2 blog abt my idle thoughts one day :) abt how my life so far has been pretty alright, i'm grateful for everything and really appreciate everyone ard me though i may not show it all e time :p ok back 2 tut n studying 4 now! yah muz treasure each day n use it well.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Get to know yourself better personality test

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

This quiz is totally fun!!! i wished it had more questions... ahhh so nice!
The link is here:

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx
But eh some parts r quite true, and some are exactly like huiwen's and deb's! Especially the true self one! Wah cant believe we 3 got e same 'true self' :p hehe soooo fun!!!!

Recent msn nick:
i must believe.. i must work harder...
with the strength of an angel

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

dere goes my astronomy this holiday :(

nooooo.... how could this be??? special sem 2 subj available are SOOOOO limited! N e worse thing is that dere's NO ASTRONOMY in special sem 2!!! ARGH.... it's only offered in special sem 1!!! WHY WHY??? WHY MUZ EID BE DURING SPECIAL SEM 1??? noooooooo....

Monday, March 09, 2009

latest obsessions: songs

"Tongue Tied"

Bright cold silver moon
Tonight alone in my room
You were here just yesterday
Slight turn of the head
Eyes down when you said
I guess I need my life to change
Seems like something's just aren't the same
What could I say?

I need a little more luck than a little bit
Cuz every time I get stuck the words won't fit
And every time that I try I get tongue tied
I'll need a little good luck to get me by
I need a little more help than a little bit
Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet
Cuz every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by this time

I stare up at the stars
I wonder just where you are
You feel a million miles away
(I wonder just where you are)

Was it something I said?
Or something I never did?
Or was I always in the way?
Could someone tell me what to say to just make you stay?

I need a little more luck than a little bit
Cuz every time I get stuck the words won't fit
And every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by
I need a little more help than a little bit
Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet
Cuz every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by this time

I know it feels like the end
Don't want to be here again
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again

What it takes I don't care
We're gonna make it I swear
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again
Again

I need a little more luck than a little bit
Cuz every time I get stuck the words won't fit
But every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by
I need a little more help than a little bit
Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet
Cuz every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by this time

I know it feels like the end
Don't want to be here again
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again

What it takes I don't care
We're gonna make it I swear
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again

-Faber Drive

heh juz really obsessed with this song and 'Thinking of You' by Katy Perry these few days... i think what i like abt these two songs is their melody, their tune is just oh so unique that i cant help but get mesmerised :p

here's 'Thinking of You'
Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one
I still got the seed

You said move on
Where do I go
I guess second best
Is all I will know

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes

You're like an Indian summer
In the middle of winter
Like a hard candy
With a surprise center
How do I get better
Once I've had the best
You said there's
Tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test

He kissed my lips
I taste your mouth
He pulled me in
I was disgusted with myself

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into...

You're the best
And yes I do regret
How I could let myself
Let you go
Now the lesson's learned
I touched and I was burned
Oh I think you should know

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes

Oh won't you walk through
And bust in the door
And take me away
Oh no more mistakes
Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay...

Hmm the lyrics are pretty meaningful and interesting for both songs... yes indeed, it's hard to settle for the second best when you've alr had a taste of the best :p i hope i don't have to settle for second best in this lifetime :)

Saturday, March 07, 2009

NTU Institutional 2009

It's been duper long since i last posted... nothing unusual there :p but yup so here i am using the time i'm supposed to be doing work to blog =x

Hmm the archery version of IVP just ended.. it was held over the wkend of 28 Feb - 1 Mar and to me, it was a major competition since my last competition half a year ago... and man was it nerve-wreaking and full of unexpected shocks and surprises i suppose...

This time I was even less mentally prepared than I expected myself to be... crap i really lack mental training =x someone start coaching me in my mental strength!

hmm let's say sat sighters started out well :) but eh my 1st round of 60m did not go well :s not quite sure why, seems lyk i didnt get my sighting on fri and couldnt find it on sat either =x haiz... but oh wells, i guess i still need more training at that distance though i'm highly tempted to head to 70m sooner or later O.o heh yah, tempted but not making my move... hmm for the rest of FITA 900, my 50m went superbly well and 40m was good too though not my personal best lyk how i did for 50m but it was still one of my best scores ever :)
Therefore i was ranked 6th place overall :D haha but i was quite a distance from no. 5, debra an ntu archer and no. 4 jorcelyn, another ntu archer... oh wells, but we're in e same team so it's great that our whole team made it into eh top 6? haha
e other gals did alright too though as usual we either flop at this dist or that :p we should really try to reduce that kind of thing... especially at major competitions such as these...

Ok Sunday. Big day. Individual Knockout (IKO) event in the morn plus Team Knockout (TKO) event in the afternoon...
argh got knocked out in the first round for IKO coz i lost due to the other archer (NUS' Linette)'s skill (that i acknowledge) and my lack of mental trng...
i made a mistake i nv made before, shooting 3 arrows when i'm supposed to shoot 6. what a stupid mistake to make but yah i made it, juz lyk my other two team-mates at the lane beside me... we did shoot finish the last arrow (more or less) .. finished during last eh 1 min or less... i can shoot fast that i know, i had the whole team (more or less) cheering for me with my ex-capt on the line trying to reassure me... but 1 min is not enough for me to gain back my composure. I almost cried on the line... Wendy saw it... and well i hope e ntu side didnt see it.. i was wearing shades after all... i guess i'm still not that willing to show my weakness to them that easily.

Linette was lyk trying to get me to cheer up as we went to collect my arrows but i wasnt happy with myself (and not with her, hope she didnt feel that way :s) so yah... back to my moody self.
Though surprisingly i shot quite well for the last 3 arrows... haha overall my shots were all in the red which was not enough to win Linette who was a yellow-average, haha she's good this time, but next time I wouldnt lose so easily :p

hmm was some dispute between debra ntu archer on my team and another NUS archer when they were shooting their IKO bronze medal match :s ouch alright... i wasnt dere to witness it but both sides insisted that the other cheated... and with my good friends Fred n Wendy on the other team i was torn between the two... coz i juz happened 2 ask Fred abt it when i was wif him at the noticeboard then... so coincidentally (unfortunately) that debra had to walk past n hear wat he was saying... argh when u're being suspected of cheating, you wouldnt juz keep quiet n walk away rite?? so she had 2 defend herself n wat resulted was an almost argument... Fred with that annoying tone of his but not paying her direct attention while she was close to tears, hurt that her integrity was being questioned. And dere i was in the middle of it all getting them both to just STOP IT.
Honestly. i was feeling so bad and when i realised that i couldnt find any1 in ntu archery to talk to... i hesitantly approached the nus tentage hoping to get someone to understand me.. that someone being wendy... She was dere for me, trying to talk it out with me while i openly cried, not caring who saw or watever. I think Fred saw, well he should since he's partly the cause of it. i was just bleeding inside as i was being torn apart by those two... they couldnt consider my feelings when they were doing that did they?? hateful. I didnt noe who to believe, one was my ex-guys team vcapt and the other my current team-mate who was gg 2 shoot team event with me later on, how was i suppose to get back my nonchalence to shoot with her? Of coz Wendy was on her archers' side and well she said to just drop the issue, that was the original decision made on their side and she told me not to worry about it, coz one black sheep isnt gg to ruin their impression of the whole team. I guess it hurt partly coz all the while i was trying to promote friendship between the two clubs and This! this issue just had to come up and ruin it all. what was i supposed to do when faced with this kinda thing?

Guess the morning had alr affected my mood and hence i couldnt take it after trying to be the mediator between the two. I just had to let it all out. And i was hoping that I would be the one giving support all the time during the competition and not the one needing them :s

well yeah. that totally didnt help in my mental preparedness for the team event later on. I was lyk a fragile little bird haha just accept the description lar. Thanks to my oh-so-gorgeous shades no one could see my puffy eyes! haha! yay! yeah lyk that's smthg worth cheering over...

anyway yeah... team event only had to shoot against two teams, NUS and TP... it was ok, i'm glad that i did contribute, though only 1 or 2 shots at the end =x thankfully my team-mates were good... so we got the Gold medal. It was actually alright. Glad that meecheng was the one checking our arrows' positions :) she's good at raising our spirits coz she's so high when we hit yellow on the hit-miss target :p btw the NUS team that i had to shoot against was Wendy's team :s ouch... i barely looked over because I never wanted to shoot against any of my NJ team-mates in the first place.. but everytime i looked she was there giving me a smile and a thumbs-up. I even saw her bf that day though i didnt realise until i finished my round with her... n yup he sure looks good, haha good for Wendy then :)
hmm guess i was a bit disappointed that i couldnt watch the guys shoot as they were shooting at the same time as us... it would have been fun... it's always fun watching your team-mates shoot against others... and they got Gold too...

I was just thinking of how my current team noes how attached i am to my NJ team and this is kind of similar to the situation back then when my NJ team knew how attached i was to my 1st 3 mths hc class... oh wells, wonder if they ever realised that though i may long for my previous team/class, i am in actual fact even more grateful for my current team :) though my current team loves suan-ing ppl loads which isnt exactly fun =x oh wells, no one's perfect...